Wednesday, August 30, 2023

Right into your Skull


Last week I received an email from a friend I worked with about 30 years ago. In that time he has become one of the 8 loyal readers of RoundSeventeen. I really should do more to reward this small minyan who have stuck with me through so many of the ups and downs of my life. 

And persevered through my debilitating obsession with taking down our former president. BTW, it still makes my body shudder to think that empty headed, malignant monster was elected to the highest office in the land. And indeed the world.

But we're not talking about him today. We're talking about bone conduction technology.

My friend, let's call him Michael, was inquiring about my new swimming headphones that transmit music in a most unusual way.

As you may not be biologically-inclined nor received an A+ in Bio 101 at esteemed Syracuse University, I will dispense with the anatomical fancy talk and provide this helpful synopsis via Wiki:

Their main sounding principle is to convert sound into mechanical vibrations of different frequencies, and transmit them through the human skull->bone labyrinth->inner ear lymph fluid->spiral organ->auditory center.

Simple translation, the Allman Brothers, Santana, Little Feat and Led Zep, et al, emerge from headphone, bypass the auditory canal and goes straight to my slightly-warped brain. 

It's pretty amazing. Especially when you're cutting through a million gallons of salty/chlorine-y/and urine-y water at the Culver City Plunge Pool. Or, my go-to-pool at the Rose Bowl Aquatic Center.

There are many brands of bone conduction headphones on the market. I just happened upon the most expensive ones, the Shokz OpenSwim Swimming MP3, seen here...



Please note that is not a picture of me. I have barely mastered the selfie photo on dry land and dare not attempt one in the water. 

I might have mentioned these headphones before, but I'll mention it again in the hopes that you will sally over to the Amazon Shopping Site (Full disclosure, I'm still one of their professional Affiliate Marketing Partners) and purchase one for yourself. This incredibly lightweight, yet sturdy gizmo is a game changer. 

I spent many years with a refurbished, waterproofed Apple Shuffle in a vain attempt to listen to music while knocking out a mile or two in the water. And the results were as unsatisfying as a Chris Christie campaign stump.

Here's an added bonus. This amazing MP3 player is amphibious. Meaning it works well on dry land. It often accompanies me on my many bike rides to the beach. And even on my walks, where it effectively drowns out the nonstop, yappy barking of the neighbor's dogs. In the realm of onomatopoeia, yappy is one of my favorite words.

If I haven't convinced you to buy the Shokz Bone Conducting MP3 player by now, I'm not sure I ever will. But know this, should you purchase the headphones via the upcoming link, you'll be adding 78 cents to the Rich Siegel Stay out of a Dirty Nursing Home Bank Account. So there's that.

And there's this: https://amzn.to/3sulaNQ



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