Well not so much as the Red Sox coach has challenged the call at the plate. What the hell is this, I thought. What the hell is this, mused loudly Ms. Muse. Our questions were answered by the Dodger Stadium announcer who said the last pitch was under dispute. No sooner had my jaw been up off the plastic seat below my in the Reserved Section, Row 34 Seat K, where you can smell the burning jet fuel from jets making their landing approach turn to LAX, our questions had been answered.
"After AI review, brought to you by Palantir. Palantir, the good side of Fascism, the pitch call was overturned."
With that, the Jumbotron replayed the pitch showing the ball did indeed miss the lower right corner by half an inch. The hitter was rejuvenated. The umpire was humiliated.
Again.
Again.
Again.
And again.
In what might have been the worst baseball game we have ever witnessed in a pro stadium (Ms. Muse called it Lazyball) the Boston manager challenged 5 calls by the umpire. And prevailed on each one. Begging the question, why do we even need umpires?
Well, I'll tell you.
Because it's baseball, our national pastime. The egalitarian game that occasionally brings us all together. Black and white. Old and young. Rich and poor. Though at the stadium, any stadium, it's mostly rich people. Who else wants to shell out 45 bucks to park the car. Or 10 bucks for a variety of shredded meats and gizzards and stuffed into a glutinous semi-edible membrane. Or the privilege eating soft serve ice cream out of a plastic replica of a batting helmet.
Baseball is what made America. It's as indigenous to our culture as Jazz, Movies and unfathomable political ignorance in the face of hypocrisy.
We've already corrupted the game with designated hitters, one pitch relievers, and the ten second rule. Not to mention the in-stadium experience with the inane Cap Shuffle, the furry mascot races and captive ads disguised as "fan participation experiences" that make a Chuck E Cheese seem quiet as a morgue.
And now we're going to remove the human element to the game to turn it over to a bunch of greedy, nerdy technocrats who always got picked last in school for the PE softball game?
What is wrong with the is world?
I blame Trump. I know that's not baseless and without any evidence whatsoever. But if it's good enough for huim it's good enough for this radical leftist commie.
