Tuesday, December 13, 2022

Super Stupid Bowl™


 If memory serves me correct, now is the absolute worst time to be a creative staffer at an ad agency. Although it could be argued, with not much effort, the last 20 years have been the worst time to be a creative staffer at an ad agency.

But we are in the middle of December and agencies (and their clients) must decide on which speculative creative idea is going to be turned into a reality. And ready to be unveiled at Super Bowl LVII, that's 57 for those of you unfamiliar with Roman numerals.

It will be contentious. 

It will be ego-driven. 

It will be a shit show I wish I had tickets to. 

Though I always enjoyed a good cage match at the agency, particularly when it came to arguing with perpetually-soused CEOs or barely out-of-college strategists/planners boldly willing to school me on life's great truths, nevertheless, I'm thrilled to be sitting on the sidelines and watching from afar. 

Frankly there's just way too much pressure on hitting it out of the ballpark. 

And yet for all the micro-managing, committee frame fucking, and data driven optimization, there hasn't been a truly great spot since Super Bowl XLVI or XXIX or maybe XXL. Oh wait, XXL were the shirts I donated to Goodwill because they no longer fit my svelt 182 lbs. body.

Nor have the behemoth efforts been helped by the revelatory teasers. 

When did that become a "best practice?" (don't get me started) Why on earth would you want to spoil your surprise gift to the Tostitos-sharing, chili-chugging, football-loving masses with a 6 or 15 second bumper you can slap onto every fucking YouTube video? Only to be unceremoniously ignored.

Two words: SKIP AD

If only ad people listened to the sage advice often given to me by Ms. Muse, "A girl's gotta have some secrets."

The sad truth is we -- the "professionals" at communication -- shot the goose that laid the golden egg. And we were so messy about it, the poor buckshot bird can't even be stuffed with oranges, garlic cloves and kosher salt, and eaten. 

Folks used to say, "I love the ads and don't even watch the game." They don't say that anymore.  And nowadays are often bored by both. 

Between this sad phenomena, the digital-first movement, the gutting of creative departments, the wage inequality, the unremunerated labor, the ageism, sexism and racism, one has to wonder what bonehead, misguided, overthought act of self-sabotage will the ad industry come up with next?

"We're removing the foosball tables."


 


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