She's back

A couple of weeks ago I sat through a 4 hour bladder-busting movie marathon about Elon Musk. Next up on the list is the 3 hour Tortumentary about Elizabeth Holmes, the Head Huckstress of Theranos, makers of a revolutionary blood diagnostic machine (😜) that was apparently snatched from a prop room of a 1950's sci-fi movie. 

Truth is you could learn more about your health by strapping your arm into a cuff of a blood pressure machine while sitting in the waiting room at a Rite Aid Pharmacy as the druggist explains, in excruciating detail, all the possible side effects of Dulcalax Plus Mega 3000™ to Mrs. Crabapple.

Depending on the expected rainstorms this week, which may or may not infringe on my swimming and biking routine, I may or may not watch this in the theater or wait for it to stream. 

Or drop, pun intended.

I have a natural interest in Ms. Holmes and Theranos as they were once a client of my alma mater, Chiat/Day. Had I remained on staff at Chiat in the early 2000's, there was a good chance I could have found myself working on the Theranos account. After all I did get an A+ in Freshman Biology at Syracuse University.

And had I been offered a staff position, as many of my ex-Chiat colleagues had, I might have exited the equity-less world of the ad agency for the fuax-equityfull paper world of VC startups. Knowing what I know now, I'm ecstatic my career path took a somewhat drama-free path.

Not that I'm any stranger to the "fake it til you make it" world of corporate fakakta. You can read more about my adventures with an  former Chiat client/convicted felon Stewie Wolff here. More recently I had a front row seat at the hustlers table with a bunch of kids who were hawking brain supplements, You know like Alex Jones.

My partner and I were given thousands of shares of private equity with the hope that someday those shares would be converted to public equity. We learned the hard way that while business was nominally about improving memory/synapses/flow state, the real business was about fleecing VC prospectors of their money, the real money.

Our purpose, that is building the brand, making consumer facing ads, giving the sheen of credibility to these useless green and yellow pills. It was not to increase sales or distribution, otherwise there would have media money behind our efforts. No, our work was the shiny candy stuff at the front of the deck for the next funding drive in Silicon Valley. 

And moving the ball one step closer to the IPO Line. I'm sure that's what Lizzie and her Svengali boyfriend were thinking. No matter the cost, even the loss of life. That's the power of unfettered Greed, with a capial G.

A minor, but enlightening microcosm, of the house of cards that is American capitalism.

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