Out of Jail

I'm a guilty self loather.

I've always had many reasons to look in the mirror and growl with disgust. I eat too much. I drink too much. I have a short fuse. I haven't done nearly as well with my career as I thought I would have. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

And my wife would be happy to add to the list.

"Don't forget the ear hair, the reluctance to put down a toilet seat, the inability to compose a wardrobe, the refusal to put in a fire pit, ... "

"The readers at Roundseventeen don't have all day."

All that was before I became afflicted with a debilitating addiction to social media.

Lately I've been kicking myself in the gonads for the inordinate amount of time I spend on Facebook. Particularly to vent about our ongoing national presidential nightmare, which is now working overtime to wipe their hands, bloodied by 11 members of my tribe --Who didn't see that coming?

I knew it was time to kick the Facebook habit, but couldn't find the strength to.

And then there was Zuckerberg Miracle.

Turns out some old bitty in Idaho reported me for making an abusive comment on the Facebook Page of Senator Steve Daines, he of the Prostrate Eight who went to Moscow on July 4th to bow down to our new Russian Overlords.

It was a stupid comment. And in retrospect, in no way lived up to what I consider my high standards of artful political smackdown.

And so the powers that be in Menlo Park (Facebook headquarters) did me a huge favor. They threw me in Facebook Jail. Not for 3 days, as I've grown accustomed to for other infractions, but for 30. 30 days.

Holy Shit!!!, I thought.

How am I going to make it a whole month without taking Captain Fuckknuckle to Pound Town?

What about all those self validating Likes and Loves and Laughing Face Emojis?

And if I can't pimp my blog what kind of crushing effect will this have on the web traffic?

Turns out those concerns are of no concern at all.

In the time I haven't been on Facebook, I polished off several books, made donations to Democratic contenders in this next week's election, started a correspondence with Roland Kings who promises to make me a full brother in the Illuminati with access to the Egg of Wish, and put together a new business proposal that is already starting to pay dividends.

I'm back on Facebook now.

That is until I get thrown in jail again.

Considering my Defcon 1 Level of Hate for the current administration of fascists, that can happen any minute now.