Thursday, October 11, 2018

Go work the coal mine Joe


Today's Thursday Thrashing letter to a Republican US Senator goes to a Democratic US Senator.

Say hello to Joe Manchin.

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10.11.18

Senator Joe Manchin
306 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington D.C., 20510

Dear Joe,

This letter is as surprising to me as it is to you.

Six months ago, I was fed up with the current Shitgibbon administration, but even more cheesed off with the lack of leadership from both Republican Houses of the Congress, and so I decided to embark on a little homegrown project. 

I would hand write a letter to every Republican US Senator. 

Some, like the vapors-disabled Lindsey Graham and the Satanically-possessed Mitch McConnell, have merited two or three letters. By March of 2019, I should be completing my task. At which point all the letters will be published in a book, tentatively titled, "Mr. Siegel Writes to Washington"(Erupting Volcano Publications, Inc.)

I never thought the book would also include a letter to a senior Democrat, but you changed all that when you put on your party dress and decided to dance with the devil by voting to appoint Brett "The Boofer" Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court.

I don't want to rehash the whole confirmation debacle. Replete with stories of ralphing, non-consensual groping, brewskis and rich white boy-entitled hijinks, it's a hangover best left in the past.

Besides, all of that doesn't make for intelligent political discourse between two grown men. And the 20,000 readers who will see this letter on my blog, roundseventeen.blogspot.com, expect more.

I prefer to aim cheap shots at you and the great state of West Virginia, often referred to as the Switzerland of America -- due to its landlocked nature -- and not because of anything nearing culture, or even civilization. 

Let's start by saying I'm sure West Virginia, home of Cletus The Slack Jawed Yokel, couldn't be prouder of their US Senator. 

Just last year, West Virginia was ranked #47 (out of 50) in standard of living. 

"Suck on that Arkansas, Oklahoma and Louisiana."



In terms of Infrastructure, West Virginia came in dead last. Though I'm pretty sure if you polled West Virginians, that word might be a little confusing.

"Infrastructure? Sure, I gots lots of stuff in my in-fro-structure, though we call it a shed, where I keeps my tools, my moonshine jugs and my girlie magazines Brandy Lou don'ts let me keep in da house on account of the childrens."

Wow, you must be thinking. 

Painting the entire state of West Virginia as a bunch of know-nothin hillbillies happy to have a leaky roof over their heads, some minimal foot coverins' and a US Senator with no more intelligence than a half-eaten blueberry buttermilk scone ...That's a low blow.

But is it any lower than the President of the United States, standing before thousands of people, not to mention the national media, and openly mocking Dr. Ford, a woman who was the victim of a traumatizing sexual assault?

Is it any lower than a Supreme Court Justice who, when he wasn't demonstrating his unabashed Alex Jones-inspired partisan leanings and frat boy temperament, was lying about his proclivity for hurling and his participation in three way sword crossing?

Most pointedly, is it any lower than a Democratic US Senator, so eager to hold his precious seat of power that he sold out his constituents, and the future of the country, just so he can continue playing basketball in the Thursday Night Senate pick up games?

I don't think so.

Frankly Joe, I hope a camel with pancreatitis shits in your cold cornpone.


Best,

Rich Siegel
Siegelrich@mac.com
Culver City, CA 90232








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