Thursday, October 25, 2018

Murder most foul.


This administration continues to devolve.

We've gone from gross incompetence to mass White House defections to porn star banging to bowing down to our new Russian overlords. And in the last two weeks we have now added murder.

Nice.

In any case here is the latest in my Thursday Thrashing letters.

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10.25.18

Vice President Mike Pence
The White House
Office of the Vice President
1600 Pennsylvania Ave. N.W.
Washington, DC 20500

Dear Mike,

About 7 months ago, I decided I was going to embark on a letter writing campaign. I would compile a list of the 51 United States Republicans Senators and week-by-week I would pick one off and tell him, or her, exactly what I thought of their cowardly, Vichy-like behavior, in terms that were anything but uncertain.

Technically, you are NOT a U.S. Senator. 

But for reasons that still confound me, the authors of the Constitution mandated that you preside over the Senate in case there were ever a tie. Mind you, these are the same forward thinking clods that said, "The Negroes were only 3/5th human""Women can't vote" and "citizens should have unencumbered access to military grade weapons." So there's that.

I chose you this week for a special reason. And it has little to do with your party or your politics. And more to do with your piety, or lack thereof.

You will recall that at the 2016 Republican National Convention you took to the podium and proudly announced that you, "...come before the American people as a Christian, an American and as a Republican. In that specific order."

You remember saying that, don't you Brother Mike?

Of course you do, because your by-the-book Christianity is part and parcel of who you are. It's why Mother won't let you dine with another woman. It's why you view homosexuality as an abomination. And it's why you don't eat cheeseburgers or visit Red Lobster. 

Let's not forget laying down with another man, mixing milk with meat and eating shellfish were all explicitly forbidden in the same passages from Leviticus.

But this week Mike was so god damned special. Oooops. 

Because this week we saw the Mac Daddy of all sins, MURDER, play out on the international stage. An American resident, a columnist for the Washington Post, and father of four American children, Jamal Khashoggi was butchered at the hands of the Saudi Secret Service.

I'd have to whip out the Charlton Heston movie and skip past all that plague crap and get to the good stuff when God torches some bushes and splits the Red Sea with the breath in his nostrils, but I'm pretty sure if you look at those two stone tablets, Murder is right up there near the top. 

Granted, Jamal Khashoggi's skin was a few shades darker than white. Probably closer in complexion to that of Jesus than anyone in the Hoosier State, but still an innocent, olive-skinned man lost his life for nothing more than speaking his mind and fighting for freedom of the people.

Yet, in light of all this, your boss, Captain Fuckknuckle, is willing to absolve the Saudis of a murder most foul, because of an arms deal that will pump 17 trillion dollars into our economy and provide jobs and a Lamborghini for every man, woman and child in the Western Hemisphere -- his words, not mine.

And you're going to look the other way. Just as you looked the other way when he committed:

* Gluttony ("Give me two buckets of KFC tonight, that rally made me hungry.")

* Adultery ("it's not really cheating, she has a horseface.")

* Bearing False Witness (See 1946-2018)

In fact, in just a few weeks from now, I can picture you at the Thanksgiving Table expressing your gratitude to our Lord and Savior, for blessing the United States with a leader of such fortitude, grace and character. If hypocrisy were turkey stuffing you'd have enough to fill a Black Hole. 

I may be some atheist, hedonistic, alcohol-loving Jew, but the truth is I'm more Christian than you'll ever be. Nevertheless if I get to Hell before you do, I'll save a frosty, minty mojito for you.


Best,

Rich Siegel
siegelrich@mac.com
Culver City, CA 90232


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