Tuesday, January 7, 2020

My 2020 Resolution

My daughter and I went to visit my uncle on Christmas Day and we all ended up taking a trip down Memory Lane. At 81 years old, with bad hips, bad knees and the occasional bad temperament, it's the only kind trip my uncle can make these days.

As we were cleaning up his room at the Crappy Acres Assisted Living Home  -- I've decided to stop pulling punches about this place -- we came across his army discharge papers. Only to discover that he'd been stationed at a base in Oklahoma. I can only imagine how he must have pissed off the Inductee Officer to get this assignment.

"You, gay Jew accounting boy from the Bronx...yeah you...you're going to Oklahoma."

As if that were not surprising enough, we also found out that in addition to being quite handy with debits, credits and long term asset depreciation, my Uncle Ron was also quite handy with the long gun. And because of his superior eyesight was rated as a Rifle Marksman.

In short, my uncle's military career was the stuff of a bit character in a Spielberg war movie.

"Collins, Gamboni and Johnson, you flank left. Hawkins, Murphy and Davis, you follow me on the right. Siegel, you head up that bell tower and set up a Crow's Nest to give us cover. Take plenty of ammo. And nevermind about the curtains."

Fortunately, my uncle's military service ended before things got heated up in Vietnam.

Unfortunately, that means he receives no aid and assistance from the Veteran's Administration to defray the ridiculous cost of senior assisted living.

That brings me to my 2020 resolution.

In addition to doing all I can to remove the jackboot of fascism and the most destructive presidential administration to ever afflict our nation, I am on a quixotic mission to effect change at the VA.

This is no small task. And will probably necessitate the purchase of a new wireless keyboard after I knocked the piss out the keys on my current rig.

The mountain is no less daunting considering the current Secretary of the VA Affairs, a man who once spoke at the Sons of the Confederate Veterans convention and who once called abolitionists, "enemies of liberty."

That's nice.

But if you know me at all, you know I'm up for a good battle. You also know that my advertising background requires me to end this piece with a good zinger. Or at least a CTA, Call to Action.

I'm going with the latter.

Because there's a good chance you will soon find yourself in my well worn shoes and handed the responsibility of taking care of a senior relative. Probably one that served. And if you don't want to find yourself staring down a plate of inedible vegetable lasagna at the Sad Sundown Retirement Village, you'll be happy to receive some of that good VA assistance.

So join me on the frontline and drop a line to:

Robert Wilkie
Secretary of Veterans Affairs
US Department of Veterans Affairs
810 Vermont Ave, N.W.
Washington, DC 20420

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