Monday, January 6, 2020

2020 Foresight

Happy New Year and Welcome Back.

Here's what to expect from me in 2020:

* Same exorbitant day rates

* More stories that begin with, "When I was at Chiat..."

* Fewer eye rolls or facial ticks that indicate confusion or disapproval 
(If you're writing the checks, I'm writing the copy)

* Better and even more urgent CTA's

* Greater attention to personal hygiene, with special emphasis on ear hair

* More charming anecdotes about working with Lee Clow, including a detailed bio description for younger creatives who can't identify Lee Clow

*  No scripts with Kristen Bell, Shaquille O'Neal or Anna Kendricks

* Less bragging about my ability to bench press 245 lbs.

* Zealous response to requests for email blasts, banners and Tik Tok mishegas

* Faster turnarounds, 1st look at work will be presented before conclusion of the briefing

* Because our country is at a crossroads, I promise to donate 5% of all 2020 bookings to the Democratic Presidential Nominee (even if its Marianne Williamson) as well as the candidates running against MoscowMitch, Ms. Lindsey Graham and Matt Gaetz ( I want to punch this bastard)

 Let's light this candle and get to work

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