O-HI-O.
There's a lot pride emanating from the great state of Ohio. But as you'll soon see, none of it comes from its junior Senator Rob Portman, a man of little, no less than a little, less than less than little, a man of no fucking integrity whatsoever.
In other words, another GOP Senator.
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4.25.19
Senator Rob Portman
448 Russell Senate Office Building
Washington, DC 20510
Dear Senator Portman,
I may be a Wheel of Fortune Whiz Kid in a room full of Jeopardy Tournament Champions, but when it comes to smarts, you sir give Louie Gohmert and Devin Nunes a run for the money.
I'll get to my point as soon as I explain that you are letter #52 in a series of hand written missives to GOP Senators I started a year ago. I am certainly glad I waited until this week to address the junior senator from Ohio. Because this week you took a rightful seat next to other dim bulb luminaries in the halls of Congress.
Of course, I am referring to Precedent Shitgibbon's latest nomination to the Federal Reserve Board, the esteemed economist and CNN panel punching bag Steven Moore. A man so clueless and lacking in diplomacy that he once said...
"You want to live in Chicago. You don't want to live in Cincinnati or Cleveland or these armpits of America like that."
Like I said, I may be a few peas short of a casserole, but to my fuzzy recollection, those two cities are in your state of Ohio.
"Midwest Armpit Cities for a thousand, Alex."
You would think those would be fighting words, wouldn't you Rob?
I'll bet if some assclown called Trenton the hairy asshole of North America, Chris Christie would be bounding from his beach chaise lounge, douse the offender with tangy BBQ sauce and gobble that poor bastard up as a pre-meal appetizer.
But you?
You said nothing.
Not one word.
Where's your home state pride?
In fact when a reporter pressed you on the issue, you handed it off to one of your spokes-pieholes, who muttered, "Moore's statement isn't great."
Want to hear some more not-so-great statements from Mr. Moore? Today's NY Times has a bevy of them. Like this gem...
"There's a new oppressed minority on college campuses these days and it is not women, blacks, Latinos or gays....No, the group that has fallen into great disfavor is the white male."
Yes, because soon white males will not be 95% of the CEO of America's Fortune 500. Soon that number will drop to a perilous 94%. Think of the devastating effect that will have on our country clubs, private jet and yacht manufacturers!
Want more Moore?
With regards to women and basketball, "Here's the rule change I propose: No more women refs, no women announcers, no women beer vendors, no women anything. There is, of course, an exception to the rule. Women are permitted to participate, if and only if, they look like Bonnie Bernstein."
I took the liberty of Googling Ms. Bernstein and can safely say she would have nothing to do with a man who apparently shops for suits at the local Goodwill store.
Finally, one more from Mr. Bore.
"No one seems to care much that co-ed sports is doing irreparable harm to the psyche of America's little boys."
In this respect he may correct, as evidenced by Steven Moore and the entire tribe of Trump troglodytes, it appears America's little boys never grow out of being America's little boys.
And so, being the little spineless toady you are, there's a 93.8% chance none of this will have any effect on you and, like you have in the past, will vote along the lines of your bully president. You wouldn't want him tweeting something mean about you. Or your state's armpit cities.
In short, Rob, you're going to approve Moore to the Federal Reserve Board.
Which impossibly, leaves me thinking even less of you.
Best regards,
Rich Siegel
siegelrich@mac.com
Culver City, CA 90232
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