Monday, June 22, 2020

My Happy Post Father's Day Post


Hope you had a special Father's Day.

I know I did. But not in the typical special Father's Day way. And here's why. On Friday, my daughter got word that one of her co-workers at the office (that's right she works for a company that requires employees to go into an office) called to say that her boyfriend tested positive for Coronavirus.

So, by the Transitive Law of Viral Transmission (a mystery to all in Oklahoma), my daughter's co-worker could be positive. And my daughter could be positive. And she could have brought that home and made myself and my immunocompromised wife, positive.

It's unlikely, but these days you can't be too careful. The notion of being holed up in a hospital room, with a plastic tube rammed down my gullet and no opportunity to lift weights and make Trump memes is too horrifying to consider.

And so, if there were to be any fatherly celebrations yesterday, I was going to be the one who would have to make the arrangements, pull out the credit card (duh) and craft my own special Father's Day.

Thus, a late Friday night trip to the grocery store was in order.

* Tomahawk Steak, check
* Bulleit Rye Whiskey, check
* A big bag of Tostitos Hint of Lime Chips (which should be illegal in all 50 states), check
* a jar of creamed herring, check

It should be noted that when my wife was doing the grocery shopping, she never brought home creamed herring. For some reason she finds the idea of smelly Canadian fish bits, stuffed in a jar with sour cream, garlic and sliced onions, rather unappetizing.

I've probably turned you into a convert, so here's what to look for:


Perhaps you think I've painted a bleak picture of an even bleaker day. And in 2020 it's fair to say we've had an unusually long streak of bleak days.

But you'd be wrong.

Because on Friday we also got some tremendous non-Covid related health news. I share a lot about my life on these digital pages but not everything, so I won't go into further detail, suffice to say, I've been on Cloud 9 since hearing the report.

And along those lines, yesterday, I took a moment of silence to myself. And realized that while this Father's Day may have been lacking in fanfare, gift wrapping, tchotchkes and Hallmark-manufactured emotion, it was not missed at all.

I have my family who I love more than words can tell, I have friends, I have a roof over my head, I have work and I have money in the bank for a rainy day, enough even for 40 rainy days, should we be met by some biblical catastrophe.

In short, today, and yesterday, I have everything I ever wanted or dreamt of, in the days before I became a Father.

Dayenu.





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