Silence of the Lamars

It's Thursday.

You know what that means.

Another letter. Another doddering, useless old white man.

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11.15.18

Senator Lamar Alexander

455 Dirksen Senate Office Building

Washington, DC 20510

Dear Lamar Alexander,

Six months ago I embarked on a writing journey. I set out to pen a letter to each of the United States Republican Senators. It's not an easy task as each week I am forced to go back over the list and take inventory, just so I don't duplicate my efforts.

To be frank, I thought I had written to you, as you have a very recognizable name. 

To be even more frank, I thought you were dead.

I'm only 44 years old but I seem to remember hearing about you when I was kid. Weren't you around for the Teapot Dome Scandal?

The other thing I've noticed about this continuing effort is that each week there is a fresh new scandal plaguing the Shitgibbon White House. This past week was unusual in that there were multiple debacles. Or as they might say in Tennessee, your home state, "Son, you done dropped the meat in the dirt."

You had:

* The Big Blue Wave

* The Jim Acosta First Amendment Affair

* The disgusting response to California wildfires (more than 50 dead)

* The refusal to attend a World War I Memorial Service in France

* And the indefensible snubbing of our soldiers by not visiting Arlington Cemetery on Veterans Day. On VETERAN'S DAY!!!

I use the word indefensible because it appears that way to us. But, apparently that collective "us" does not include members of the GOP. And least of all, Senators of the Republican stripe. Because to a man, woman and shameless bootlicker, you have all remained silent. 

You'd think by now, two years into Captain Fuckknuckle's administration these staggering indiscretions would just roll off my back like the warm vodka-infused urine coming from a Russian hooker. 

These things make my blood boil.

But perhaps, as the senior senator from the great state of Tennessee, you've got other things on your mind and deserve special dispensation.

You see, I have a friend a colleague who attended Cocke County High School. He's a proud Cocke and a Volunteer through and through. And he is always sending me news clippings from the Newport Plain Talk. 

From what I can tell, it can't be easy governing a state where Moonshining is a course requirement for every high school graduate. 

Or where goats must be fitted for chastity belts. 

Or where the tailpipe of every parked car is vulnerable to a midnight defiling.  

I'm going to let you slide. After all, you've got your hands full Senator.

Or as my friend Greg Collins puts it, "Tennessee, now with 37% more Florida."

Best Regards,

Rich Siegel

siegelrich@mac.com

Culver City, CA 90232