Thursday, December 8, 2016

Just Do It.

About a year ago, my good friend and colleague Mike Folino (self-styled World's Greatest Freelance Copywriter) told me that I should keep doing the blogging and the tumbling and the book publishing because he felt it was all going to blow up soon. Meaning, it would reap huge dividends.

Actually, he might have told me this two years ago.

Or even three years ago.

The point is, Mike was wrong.

Nothing has blown up. Or taken off. Viacom never reached out to me. And Random House won't even return an email.

To be honest I think he said that to throw me off the scent of some good freelance gigs. He gets those high-paying projects from NY that often involve big budgets, bigger productions and monster boondoggles that take him to exotic locales like Dubai.

I don't want go to a Jew-hating place like Dubai, but I wouldn't mind something juicier than writing banner ads for a local colonics clinic.

Nevertheless this is no time for despair.

Last month, we here at RoundSeventeen headquarters had reason to celebrate.

We topped out at 17, 268 page views. The highest one month readership, ever. Evah!

Granted, about 5, 000 of those page views came from me, editing and fixing typos and such, but still.

I don't know how to account for the sudden surge in readership. The writing has certainly not gotten any better. Or funnier. Or, and I know we'd all like this, any shorter. But it might have something to do with my decision to allow ads on the blog. If anything, I would have thought the traffic would decline.

Even more surprising, the ads are starting to yield fruit. Last month, I made a whopping $5.43 just from folks, good folks like yourself, clicking thru.

Which leads me to the call to action. If you could simply click the tower ad found here...

Or the horizontal ad found here...

I would be much obliged.

You don't have to buy the adult diapers. Or join the Appalachian Seminary for Wayward Evangelists. You simply have to click.

Think of it as an investment in the future. You see I have two kids in college and when they graduate there's gonna be a lot of work to do fixing the mess made by President Shitgibbon

In other words, don't click the ads for me and my ridiculously low sense of self esteem, do it for the kids. And the future. 

Because if you don't click, the terrorists win.


george tannenbaum said...

Two words: Ad blockers.

Anonymous said...

I clicked on the one that said pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy I am not kidding!

zed said...

Good read. Hey, even better, nice work on that brilliant "colonics clinic" banner. Don't fool yourself Rich—you actually do get all the juicy assignments!

Andrew "Drew Portnoy" Bulkeley said...

Good God man have some self-respect and set yourself up a WordPress site. That way I can follow you over there and not be reminded of my own blogspot failures over a decade ago.