Friday, September 11, 2009

Luddites 1, Literates 0

Saw this behind the cashier counter at Staples the other day. Someone at Corporate must have decided that the phrase "Returned Merchandise" was just too confusing. Too many syllables, no doubt, for our challenged employees in the red polyester shirts.

I'm sure the low-level Brand Operations Analyst who spearheaded this career-making change has ascended the Staples corporate ladder and now sits one rung below the genius who came up with the red EASY button. The $4.99 button, it should be pointed out, doesn't make anything easier, but it gives the illusion of making things easier. And that seems to be enough these days.

This must all have George Carlin, a language purist, spinning in his grave.

Carlin once observed, “The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”

I suspect if there were anybody Carlin would like to set on fire, it would be the regressive bureaucrat responsible for "Go Backs."

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