Monday, April 20, 2009

Dropping the kids off at the pool.

Not so recently, I was hired to come up with a new campaign for a huge Health Insurance Company. During the briefing, the Creative Director and I exchanged some small talk. He told me about a little pet project he had going on the side.

I won’t divulge the details, suffice to say that he was looking for new euphemisms. Pithy phrases, either in the present or past tense, that could replace the always-popular “I have to go cut some Lincoln Logs.” Or, “I just dropped the kids off at the pool.”

Seizing the opportunity, and looking for a good reason not to write about health care insurance, I set my nose to the grindstone:

“I have to go un-eat lunch.”

“There’s been a prison break at the South Gate.”

“I have to remove to a tree stump.”

“I’m self-administering a route canal.”

“Launching a lifeboat off the S.S. Assitania.”

“Stepping up to the loadium.”

“I have an exit interview with Mr. Brown.”

“I have to go fertilize the Pacific.”

“I just dumped all my shares of Hometown Buffet.”

5 comments:

JR said...

I'm losing all of my shares on Bowl Street.

Ellen November said...

I am stuck in 7th grade and just love bathroom humor.

Robert Moss said...

"Time to feed the alligators."

(Works best w/ those up on their urban legends.)

JIM JENNEWEIN and TOM S. PARKER said...

Rich, you have waaaay too much time on yoru hands... but that said, you just advanced the lexicon of bathroom humor in leaps and bounds...

15 ideas said...

no "i'm taking the Browns all the way to the Super Bowl"?