Tuesday, April 12, 2022

More Bang for your buck


Clickbait? You bet.

Inconsequential? Hardly.

For those 13 people who regularly read this blog, you know, and I say this with some humility as well as no small amount of OCD shame, I am neck-deep in my knowledge of ex Precedent Shitgibbon and his countless grifting adventures.  

From the sale of his own-the-libs plastic straws to the outrageous and obscene membership fees he charges to be a "sucker" at Mara Lago to his redirection of intercontinental Air Force supply planes being instructed to land near a Trump Property in Scotland so Captain Ouchie Foot could squeeze more juice of of Uncle Sam. 

I even follow the travails of these two goons, Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman.

One, ironically a Ukrainian. The other hails from Belarus, best forgotten land of my ancestors.

Well, the bookworm above (more on her, later) is also, not surprisingly tied up with the shitnanigans of TrumpWorld, and their uncanny ability to separate gullible Red Hats from their money.

Her name is Ashley (so on the nose) Kolfage. She is the wife of Brian Kolfage. 

Who's that you ask?

Back in 2018, Brian Kolfage and his good buddy Steve Bannon, co-founded WE BUILD THE WALL. An organization totally funded by grass roots xenophobes who were afraid more Mexicans would enter this country and steal the jobs no lazy American would want to do: mowing our lawns, cleaning our gutters, painting our homes and replacing aging steel sewer pipes under our houses.

Brian and Steve raised more than $25 million. Then proceeded to build shabby, under-engineered sections of the Wall, the one Mexico was going to pay for. How shabby? You may remember this incident when a strong breeze unplugged the wall from its equally shabby foundation.


Last week Brian agreed to plead guilty to tax fraud with possible jail time of up to 20 years. 

You see, Brian and his super patriot friend Bannon, who wanted to protect the United States of America from the hordes of brown people seeking refuge, decided the Wall could wait and instead spent the money on a boat, a luxury SUV, a golf cart, expensive jewelry and cosmetic surgery -- I'd love to see Ashley's Before pictures.

But don't you worry about the resourceful Mrs. Kolfage and her two "real American" children. She'll be fine after poor Bri-Bri finds himself in the slammer doing slammering things.

You see, Ash is also a spokesmodel and influencer for BANG energy drinks. If you've got spare time and you're working at home you should go to the Google and look up Mrs. K and her NSFW hard work. 

If you're back in the office and want to avoid a call from HR, you might want to wait until you get home. 

Or bring your phone with you into the bathroom.

This has been another episode of: GOP Shit That You Just Can't Make Up.


No comments: