Wednesday, April 20, 2022

The infinitesimal joys of bachelorhood


In case you're wondering those are Caganers. 

In case you're wondering what Caganers are I suggest you go to the Google. 

And if you're wondering why I have three, actually a few more that I can't find right now, I suggest you use the search tool on R17 and read one of the many posts I have done about Caganers.

They usually appear at Christmastime, the same time the Caganers come out on the Iberian Peninsula.

But they're up now, perched on the window sill of the downstairs guest bathroom, because frankly there's no one to tell me they could NOT be up. Deb never saw the beauty of the Caganer ritual. Yes, it's funny she would agree, but...

"I don't want any little figurine men uncoiling their post-digested beef stroganoff adorning our guest bathroom. What will people think?"

"I guarantee they won't think any different of me."

"They're not going up"

Happy wife, happy life. 

So the Caganers remained hidden. But now they're up and I suspect their numbers will grow. I've never been a collector of things, but if I were to start, and why not, Caganers, with their rich history and one-of-a-kind story, would make for some interesting conversation.

Truth is, many little things are starting to change around my household. Little things that were Debbie's way, but not necessarily mine. They never bothered me in the past (again HW/HL) but now I see no reason why they can't be my way.

 Another example...

For one reason or another Deb never liked those little sanitizing hockey pucks you drop in the toilet bowl in order to make the water blue and to hide any cleaning neglect. She didn't need a reason not to like them. Nor did I ever consider the matter big enough to raise, or drop, a stink. We just never had blue toilet water.

Unlike my advertising career, where every disagreement was worth dying on the hill for, I learned a long time ago to pick my marital battles sparingly. Similarly, when it came to aesthetics, I'd be the first admit, Deb knew better. Way better.

Neverthless, should you come over my house for an evening of sipping whiskey by my firepit, you will notice that all three bathrooms now sport the turquoise blue water.

I'm sure this won't be last change as time moves forward -- I'm looking at you crowded kitchen drawers with sifters, swurdles, and cookie templates and a host of other shit I can't even begin to explain or even describe-- there will be several trips to the Goodwill Store. 

Finally, I never cared for the outrageously expensive California King Mattress we purchased years ago, the one with the three inch tall mattress topper. Our bed is so high you have to perform the Fosbury Flip just to get into it.

What was more bothersome was the cotton candy soft mattress topper. You see I like a really firm mattress. Which probably stems from the many times I napped on my office floor, you know, when I had an office.

For those who don't know the California King Mattress is huge. I think it's bigger than Moldova. And flipping it over was no small feat of strength. Worthy of consideration in the ESPN 9 World's Strongest Man Competition. Who wants to see mammoth sized men named Igor, Angus or Ferd, lift a giant boulder? I want to see them flipping mattresses.

This is just the start. 

And it is no way to be interpreted as disrespecting my wife. If she is "looking down on me" -- whatever that means -- I'm sure she would understand. 

But not without a knowing eye roll.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I did what you suggested and Googled "caganer" and realized that caganer isn't too far from the Yiddish Alta Kaker or "old shitters, in the vernacular.

From Google:
“Alter Kakers” (the correct spelling, according to Forverts Yiddishist Jordan Kutzik,) doesn't have the sexual connotation Yiddish neophytes might imagine — its accepted meaning is “old guy,” though more literally, Kutzik says, it refers to a person who is incontinent.Jan 7, 2019

BTW: I kinda agree with Deb tho maybe one or two caganers in one guest bathroom is okay.