Monday, July 19, 2021

The Self Immolation of Precedent Shitgibbon


I will not lie, I wake up every morning fresh with the hope that today will be the day the pivotal piece in the Trump/Jenga Tower will be dislodged and it will all come tumbling down in a monumental fiasco worthy of Pay Per View.

But if I have learned one thing over the past 5 years it is that the wheels of justice move painfully slow, slower than the completion of the new big and beautiful Trump Healthcare plan. 

Moreover, because politics are involved, the calculus is complex and perhaps can only be deciphered by Mohammed ben Patel, the mind-boggling brilliant Pakistani student who sat next to me in Math 595, Advanced Differential Equations, while a student at Syracuse University.

In all likelihood, justice will not be delivered in one swift blow, but like the feckless fascist regime he towered over, it will manifest itself in a series of a thousand small cuts.

This morning, for instance I arose to news that Brett Baier, one of the GOP toadies at Fox, had declared the election was "not stolen" and there had been no "massive widespread fraud." 

In Arizona. Or Anywhere.

This was quickly followed by a late night dispatch from the boudoir at Bedminster wherein Captain Ouchie Foot threw a humiliating word salad tantrum and swore off his former friends at Fox.

At least for 23 hours, until Tucker or Hannity or Pirro return to the airwaves for that oh-so-pleasant public taint licking.

I will be the first to admit that I am unhealthily obsessed with this fishbrained jack wagon. I want to see him go down and I want it to hurt. For him and his entire morally-bankrupt, maggot-infested family. I want it to hurt because having closely followed his fascist regime of cruelty and incompetence, I have an amateur journalist's clear-eyed view of the damage he has inflicted on this country. 

Including, but not limited to:

* 600,000 unnecessary Covid deaths 

* Thousands kicked off healthcare

* Trillions of dollars added to our national debt

* Thousands of innocent refugee children separated from the their parents

* Billions of dollars given to super wealthy American oligarchs

* Weaponization of the DOJ, Intel Community, the Pentagon

* Bastardization of the Supreme Court

* Corruption on an unheard level

* Degradation of American leadership around the world

* Nurturing of domestic white supremacist terrorists

* A failed coup and the continued attacks on American democracy

(TAKES DEEP BREATH AND EYES THE XANAX IN THE MEDICINE CABINET)

And so I've resigned myself that this sordid chapter in American history will not have the satisfying conclusion that one might recall from the Shawshank Redemption.

Instead, I'm teaching myself to savor every little bite and pace myself. Like that time my parents took us to Farrell's Ice Cream and set before us put a trough of hot fudge and sprinkle covered delights. 

Mmmmm, Farrell's.

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