Weeks ago, I started a new series here at R17 about things I will never understand. You may even remember some of the topics I touched on like phonographs, beets and the whole toilet seat up or down issue.
Again, if I have to lift the seat in order to pee, why is the responsibility of putting down the seat thrust upon me? Is not the current toilet user responsible for his or her seat preference. I'd like my friends in the Woke community to come up with pronouns for this (Sheater/NonSheater/???)
Ironically, I don't understand why I haven't revisited this series about things I will never understand. But for this slow Wednesday where I am holed up at a UCLA medical center for wife's MRI mapping session, for 6-8 hours, I thought we'd come back to this robust series.
1. COSPLAY -- I am a grown ass man. A 44 year old grown ass man. I'm not given to Video games, Cartoons, Superheroes, or Cartoons about Superheroes. I can't begin to tell which universe Batman or Superman inhabit. And have no use for big metal hammers, flying capes or the ability to spit silken webbing out of my wrists. Unless of course if it would shut my neighbors yappy dog right the fuck up.
Years ago, while touring the campus of the University of Oregon, I had to ask my daughters what was going on in one corner of the Quad, where some costumed kids were fake swordfighting each other. "That's LARP, Live Action Role Play." Holy shit, I thought, don't these college kids have any weed or booze?
2. LOUD CAR MUSIC AFICIANADOS -- At the risk of further cementing my image as a cranky old man, what the fuck is going on here? If I pull up at a red light or if I'm slowcrawling my way south on the 405 and suddenly my windows are shaking like a 4.3 earthquake, I want some answers.
What is that crap you're listening to? And aren't you concerned all that vibration will do permanent damage to your car's suspension system? What I'd like to do is return the favor. Open my windows up and crank the stereo up to 11 with the dulcet sounds of Scottish bagpipe music. Sadly however, SIRIUS XM has not yet devoted an entire channel to the bellowing sounds of the highlands.
3. RED HATS -- You must have seen this coming. Particularly since today's Things I Will Never Understand is covering the subset of People I Will Never Understand.
In just the past week, we saw the Michigan GOP rebuke the Big Lie and state unequivocally, "There was no widespread fraud in the 2020 Presidential Election." On top of that we saw Tucker Carlson go on national TV and call the sitting JCOS (A Trump appointee no less), "a stupid pig." And then we saw Rudy OFF-DUTY Giuliani lose his law license in NY State because he represented a clear and present danger to public safety,
On top of all that, we heard the SDNY is about to issue indictments on the Trump Organization, possibly, and more than likely including charges on Alan Weisselberg, who will most certainly flip on his boss, Captain Ouchie Foot.
And yet, for all that treachery, all that scammery, and all that bamboozery, millions of Americans are sticking to their guns -- no surprise -- and willing to lay down the future of our democracy in the service of a 75 year old, ignorant, sociopathic narcissist whose name shall replace Benedict Arnold in every textbook, including the ones printed in Texas.
I will NEVER understand these folks.
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