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My former boss, Lee Clow, once famously stated, "95% of the ads you see on TV are pure crap."

I would posit that in the age of the holding company, creative by committee, and the burgeoning world of digital media, the number is closer to 99%.

Perhaps we should not be surprised by this. These days it is not uncommon for a creative team to be briefed by a 27 year old planner at 10 AM, only to be revisited by that same pesky planner an hour later,

"Hey, do you have any scripts you want me to look at?"

Or, god forbid,

"If you'd like I can give you some thought-starters."

This disrespect and devaluation of the process goes a long way to explain the current dreck that populates our plasma screens. I'm looking at you GMC and that spoiled princess who learns her husband bought TWO trucks for Christmas and then immediately lays squatting rights on the bigger badder blacker truck.

But there's one commercial out there that really puts the tin foil in my chewing gum. Because this commercial commits the cardinal sin of putting the brief on celluloid. It runs all the time. Perhaps you've seen it.

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"SOLVED"
:30

Open on a (man and a man) (man and a woman) (woman and a woman) (three white men and an African American/Asian/Hispanic man in a car) or (three white women and an African American/Asian/Hispanic woman in a car).

PERSON #1: I'd really like to but I have (insert problem here. eg. medical condition, home repair, bad credit, computer problem)

PERSON #2: Haven't you heard of (insert product or service that solves previously mentioned problem)

PERSON #1: (repeats name of product or service that solves previously mentioned problem) (This is what passes for branding)

PERSON #2: Oh sure. (repeats name of product or service/ more branding) With (repeats name again) I don't have to worry about (medical condition, home repair, bad credit or computer problems) anymore.

PERSON #1: (Name of product or service) does all that?

PERSON #2: Sure does. Best of all, it's (fast, free, convenient, easy, effective, long lasting, etc.)

AFRICAN AMERICAN/HISPANIC/ASIAN MAN/WOMAN: Gamechanger!

LOGO
NAME OF (product or service or dotcom) SUNG IN A CLOYING JINGLE

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It's a shame that shit like this gets produced.

It's even more embarrassing that shit like this gets presented to clients.

If only there were people out there who had a solid track record of creativity and knew how to craft commercials people would actually want to watch.