Monday, December 10, 2018

A Day that will Live in Larceny

What a day yesterday was.

I say yesterday because while it is Monday (when you are reading this), it's Saturday (when I wrote this.) I write the entire week's blogs in one sitting on Saturday morning. Sometimes, between the typos, the non-sequiturs and the self immolating career anecdotes, that's painfully evident.

Nevertheless, let's get back to yesterday, December 7th, 2018. A day that will live in larceny.

A long time ago, Precedent Shitgibbon was a regular guest on the Howard Stern Show. This is while he was just a citizen grifter and sleazy fuckwaffle and not a presidential grifter and sleazy fuckwaffle. He once explained to Howard the dangers of the disco dating scene in New York City. And on describing the prevalent sexual disease and subsequent death, compared his experience to the experiences of soldiers who didn't have bone spurs.

"It's my own personal Vietnam", he said in his signature glib style.

If that was his Vietnam, yesterday was truly his Pearl Harbor.

It started with the stock market dropping close to 600 points. On top of the huge losses that happened earlier in the week. Normally I take no glee in the sudden loss of trillions of dollars of investor wealth. But since I largely divested myself of stocks and equities when this fishbrained gudgeon took office and because I know so much of his popularity is falsely tied to Wall Street performance, the precipitous drop was just the thing to put some pep in my step. #FuckTrump

That was just the beginning.

Rex Tillerson, the former Secretary of State who allegedly called the President of the United States a 'moron', all but confirmed the remark in an interview with CBS, claiming "he is undisciplined, doesn't like to read, acts on impulse and often tries to do things that are illegal."

Unable to restrain himself or accept honest criticism from one of his "Best People", he, the clueless, uncontrollable hedgehog, lashed out like a sullen teenage girl on Snapchat, calling the former Chairman of Exxon Mobil and engineer of multi multi-billion dollar international deals, "lazy", "lacking mental capacity" and "dumb as a rock." Willfully ignoring his own penchant for watching TV,  eating fast food, playing golf almost every weekend, and mistakenly assuming Frederick Douglass is among the living. #FuckTrump

And that was just the appetizer plate.

At 2PM, Robert Mueller, Republican, Thrice decorated Purple Heart Recipient Marine Commander and former FBI Director (confirmed by the Senate 98-0), rolled out a sentencing memo for Michael Cohen, the personal attorney to Precedent Shitgibbon. And in it, he asked for leniency. Why? Because Michael Cohen had made substantial contributions in the investigation of Russian "synergy" with the Trump campaign. Meaning Russian FSB intelligence officers had their hooks into the inner circle of the clueless clods now in charge of the free world. #FuckTrump

As if that were not enough, it was not.

Hours later, Bobby Threesticks dropped another sentencing memo on Paul Manafort, the former Chairman of the Shitgibbon campaign. In it, we find out about undisclosed contacts with Konstantin Kilimnick, a shady Russian intelligence operative working to secure the presidency for our beloved churlish, shrill-gorged canker-blossom. #FuckTrump

The day was capped with some incredibly good personal news about my formerly unemployed college graduate daughter that I've been instructed not to divulge.

Oh and I got booked on a last minute assignment that will have me working through the weekend.

Fridays don't get much better than that. #FuckTrump

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