Monday, February 12, 2018

From Super Bowl past

Remember this spot from last week's Super Bowl. It didn't get much ink in the USA Today Admeter survey. But it sure was one of the most talked about :30 seconds aired during the Big Game.

And while it had most of America reaching for their remote, asking, "WTF?", it had me reminiscing to another in my long list of Super Bowl non-appearances.

Let's go back to the year 2007.

The economy was booming. There was a Republican in the White House. And we were on the eve of a complete financial meltdown. I had been freelancing at Chiat/Day, who had just won the Visa Credit card account and they were looking for a breakthrough :60 second Super Bowl spot.

So I gave them one.

I couldn't find the actual script, which lives on a hard drive of a computer now buried in the Eagle Rock landfill, so I'll recreate it to the best of my ability.


Open on a shot the FOX broadcast booth at the Super Bowl. Pan down to the FOX broadcast truck, parked just outside the stadium entrance.

A man enters the FOX truck, where we see a full technical crew, multiple TV screens, switchers, routers and all the broadcast gear.

DIRECTOR: Oh hi Bob, whatcha got?

Bob holds up a videotape box.

BOB: I have the new spot Visa, where they talk about how it's taken everywhere, low interest rates and special rewards for Visa customers.

The director looks at Bob and his mood changes.

DIRECTOR: Hey, how many times do I have to tell you not to bring your pet monkey into the broadcast booth?

We see that Bob has a reddish Capucin monkey on his shoulder.

BOB: Pucci's fine. He's not going to do anything.

One of the crew guys knocks over a mug of coffee. It shatters. And it freaks out Pucci the monkey, who leaps from Bob's shoulders and starts scampering around the inside of the FOX broadcast truck.

Mayhem breaks out. And no one can catch the frisky monkey.

DIRECTOR: No, no, no...don't touch that lever......

Cut to black.

Solid black.

After an excruciating 30 seconds of excruciating black.

And silence.

Finally, we hear one of the crew.

CREW GUY: I found my phone.

Cut to a flip phone opening up.

By the dimmest light from the phone, we see the Visa logo on the case of the tape carrying the commercial.

If you'll pardon the pun, that spot never saw the light of day. Like so, so many other Super Bowl scripts I have written. It still makes me laugh when I think about it. But then again, I'm easily amused.

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