A pineapple a day

As my Eternal Dirt Nap looms closer and closer, I have made it a point to try new things. That is, things that may not be so new to you, but because of my stubborn ways and 66 years of precedence have all seemed new and unseemly to me.

Case in point, I recently went on a cruise ship to Alaska and the inlets of the southeastern part of the state. The trip was amazing. I don't use the word awesome on a regular basis, but our 49th or 50th state is truly the definition of the word.

Upon returning to the comparatively ugly state of California, I was telling my friends P. and D. about our trip. (Because of the upcoming sensitive nature of this post, I won't mention their real names.) At one point in the conviviality, P. who had never been on a cruise ship before, asked if I had seen any pineapples hanging on the doorknobs of the 5, 893 staterooms of the SS Zaandam.

Pineapples, I inquired, innocently?

"Yeah, you know pineapples... it's how swingers let other swingers on the boat know they're swingers."

At this point, I'm pretty sure the spicy lamb vindaloo erupted through my nose.

I consider myself a well rounded and well informed person, despite my 66 year resistance to new things. This little nugget of prurient wisdom came from left field, particularly if that left field were on the island of Oahu and was home to the Dole Corporation.

I had never heard of the surreptitious pineapple thing before. But it made perfect sense because -- I assume -- swingers have to maintain a certain degree of discretion to their particular way of life. In the lifestyle, as it were.

Weeks later the pineapple discussion reared its spikey head again in another social setting. This time with the always jocular cousin of Ms. Muse and his husband. There was great shock again. Mostly because bon vivants like us had never heard of this Rendezvous By Citrus Fruit Communication System.

I'm tempted to book my next cruise just so I can witness the pineapple in action, firsthand.

Well, not exactly firsthand.

Suffice it say, my antenna for Ananas Comosus is on DefCon 1. 

So you can imagine when I found one in my own home -- see picture above. That is, my rental home in Palm Springs (which I'll add is great during the cooler, wet months coming soon).

In exchange for getting out of their long term lease, the previous residents left their furniture and belongings here (hence it's now an airbnb).  While putting a new mattress in one of the guest bedrooms, Ms. Muse noticed the foot-high art deco-ish lamp on the nightstand.

Hello. 

Mind you I'm no prude. And in our rewatching of old classic movies from the 70's, we recently took in Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice. If it's not harming anyone else or involve heavy machinery, I'm all about the You-Do-You or You-Do-Small-Groups-Of-8-10-People philosophy.

Right now,  I'm going do me, and run to the local linen store to buy new sheets.