Wednesday, October 18, 2023

Panning for commissions

The decking around the pool at my Palms Springs rental property is becoming unglued. It's cracking. It's lifting. It's yielding to the relentless roots of the nearby ficus trees and crumbling like the House GOP.

You might be asking what that has to do with the photo of Gordon Ramsey. And those concerns will be answered.

Fixing concrete decking is an expensive affair. Particularly since the slabs are cantilevered and require some geometric sleight of hand to properly repair them. That means I can't just hire some schmuck with a sledgehammer and a wheelbarrel of dry cement mix to get in there slap something together. 

Fortunately, I have found a pro. 

I also managed to find a dry spell in my erratic stints as America's Oldest and Newest Freelance Copywriter. And as any senior with a vested interest in not ending up in a Dirty Nursing Nursing Home™ will tell you, that means tapping my other stream of revenue as a Certified Amazon Affiliate Marketing Partner.

That brings me to Gordon Ramsey and his HexClad Non-Stick Pan. 

As my eight loyal readers of R17 know, I spent many years in the restaurant industry. I started as a short order cook at the Carrier Circle Denny's to finance my worthless sheepskin at nearby Syracuse University. And I continued, at almost every restaurant on the westside of Los Angeles, to prepare me for a career as copywriter, which in many ways is very similar.

1. Take order

2. Prepare meal (copy)

3. Make revisions

4. Make more revisions

5. Throw picky customer's Western Omelette against the wall

I mention all this because I have some history with allegedly "nonstick" pans.  As you might expect, I have never been happy with any of them. The cheap ones I bought at Bed Bath & Beyond. And the expensive ones, Deb talked me into buying, from Calphalon. 

Each had a similar life journey. They would start as my go-to pan. Then food would start sticking. Then the teflon --the stuff that made it nonstick -- would no longer stick to the metal pan. Then they got relegated to camping gear status. And finally they would go to the Goodwill Store or Salvation Army. 

I was convinced that like the Holy Grail or a sensible Moderate Republican, the notion of a non-stick frying pan simply does not exist in this world. Enter Gordon Ramsey and his patented HexClad line of goods. Here's mine...

I could do a series of posts on Sir Gordon. Perhaps because the screaming and the throbbing neck veins remind me of my father, but I'm not a fan. And I eschew all those "reality" shows. Especially the ones about life in the "back of the house" of any restaurant. 

It just ain't like that. 

Between the inordinate heat, the substance abuse (most cooks) and the unusual proximity to 8 inch chef knives and 5 lbs. cleavers, it's just not wise to be shouting at someone at the top of your lungs as if the making of a proper Hollandaise sauce were a Life and Death proposition.

Nevertheless, the HexClad pans are worth their weight in teflon. Or whatever compound they make these things with. I've had mine for more than a year. Despite the warnings, I've run metal spatulas across its aesthetically pleasing surface. I've used it as a roasting pan. And I've placed it in the dishwasher, though according to Ms. Muse, my dishwasher loading skills could use some work.

The HexClad is as good today as it was the day I bought it. I don't give that ringing endorsement to many products. And I'm not just saying it in hopes that you'll click the following link and deposit some deck-repair money in my affiliate account. 

OK, maybe a little.

Buy the pan, you'll thank me later:

Legal: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.


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