Monday, October 30, 2023

Missed information

Israel and Gaza have been in the news lately. It is not easy to look at. Or listen to. Particularly with anti-Israel and antisemitic fever running frightfully high. And with college campuses (campi?) being a focal point for much of the rhetoric, I decided it'd be a good idea to sit down with one of the students for a one-on-one chat about the current situation. 

But, because I have no desire to waste a few good hours of my semi-busy day, nor run the risk of clocking one of these halfwits, I decided to manufacture the interview out of thin air. Because so much of what I hear these days is. And because it's my blog and I can do what I want with it. Here then is my chat with fictional 21 year old Chad Wokington, from Scottsdale, AZ.

RS: Chad, thank you for sitting down with me today. You can take off your keffiyeh scarf, I'm not taking any pictures. 

CW: Thanks man. I got this from my girlfriend Ai'sha. She was from Iran. Pretty cool, huh.

RS: Was from Iran? 

CW: She still is. But we had to break up when her parents found out I have two dads. But we're still friends. Sort of.

RS: Why are you here today? 

CW: To protest the continuing Israeli oppression. And the genocide, man. Innocent Palestinians are dying. Women. And innocent little children. It's genocide.

RS: Agreed, women and innocent children should never be killed. Never. What about Hamas, the elected state government of Gazans? Maybe they shouldn't be hiding in civilian residential areas and using Palestinians as human shields? 

CW: Maybe the Israelis shouldn't have stolen their land. It's blatant colonialism.

RS: Colonialism is when invaders come in and take land that belonged to indigenous people. Like when Europeans took North America. Or the British capturing Southern Asia and then splitting it up, like they did with India and Pakistan. Jews have been indigenous to this land for thousands of years.

CW: Huh?

RS: Where was Jesus born, Chad?

CW: Bethlehem.

RS: Bethlehem, Israel. Good. Did you ever see Jesus Christ Superstar? What do they call Jesus in that musical?

CW: King of the Jews. 

RS: Right. Just like David. And Solomon. Can you name me any great rulers of the Palestinians?

CW: That guy...with the bad beard...Arafat. Kashmir Arafat.

RS: Close. But he came around in the 1960's and 70's. Anyone before that?

CW: Yeah, no.

RS: Did you know the Quran, which was written in the year 610 CE, also refers to the Jews as Israelites?

CW: Yeah, no.

RS: Let's switch gears and talk about more modern history. What do you know about the British Mandate?

CW: uhhhh...

RS: The Peel Commission?

CW: uhhhhhh...

RS: The Balfour Declaration?

CW: Uhhhh...

RS: The Ottomans?

CW: My parents have one in the living room.

RS: This is crazy...

CW: Man, all I know is there has to be two states. One for the Jews and one for the Palestinians. 

RS: Like the UN Partition Plan of 1948...oh, never mind. Your sign says "From the River to the Sea." Where would Israel be under that scenario?

CW: I don't know, but you should check out the shwarma they're serving over by Royce Hall. It's killer.

RS: Thanks, Chad. Thanks for your time.

CW: Later, dude.

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