Bissell Bliss

If you have hardwood floors you need the Bissell Lightweight Spinwave Expert Hard Floor Spin Mop 20393.

You do.

Of course I'm going to pimp it later via my official Amazon Affiliate Program, appropriately titled Rich's Good Stuff, but first let me get to the sell.

First of all you should know that I have a lot of hardwood. When we bought the house in 1992, the first thing we did was rip up the dirty shag carpet that masked these beautiful planks of red oak. The first floor of my house covers more than 1100 square feet. That's a lot of dead oaks. 

It's also a lot of ground to cover, even for a Man of Semi-Leisure who has better things to do than to drag out a mop and bucket. Not to mention all the traumatic memories of putting myself through college by being a glorified janitor, "student worker" I believe they called it.

So I plopped down a hundred bucks or so for the Bissell SpinWave, the one pictured on the left. It's an incredible machine with two oscillating spin pads that literally scrub the floor and coat it with a specially formulated cleanser fortified with "nonionic surfactants, methlyisothiazolone and benzisothiazolone."

Those ingredients may bring a tear to a tree-hugger's eye, but for me, the more syllables a chemical has the more effective I assume it to be. This goes for mosquito repellents, oven cleaners and certain age-related male afflictions.

When you turn on the Bissell SpinWave, you are immediately taken by its self-powered mobility. The spinning pads pull the machine forward. Making it feel less like a cleaning appliance and more like a knowing dance partner.

My father never bought us one of those self-powered push lawn mowers. It was his belief that manual Briggs & Stratton push lawn mowers (of the 75 lbs. variety) built character. So this, in essence, is my way of getting revenge. 

Tiny confession: While prancing about my house with the Bissell Spinwave 20393™, I like to put on snappy latin music and move around as if I were doing the cha-cha-cha with the whipped cream lady from the Herb Albert album cover.

Two weeks ago, after many good years of service, the nut holding the right spin pad wore out. In fact it had bore a hole in the plastic housing unit. So I did what any spendthrift consumer would do, I wrote an email to the good people at Bissell, who immediately offered to send me a replacement part.

Gratis.

It should be mentioned that I write a pretty damn good unsatisfied customer letter.

When it arrived, I had difficulty re-assembling the casing. I wrote another eloquent email suggesting they might have sent me the left pad instead of the right. The friendly Bissell customer service rep. (Not an AI bot), apologized and said they would send another part.

What they didn't tell me was they would send another part already attached to a brand new SpinWave 20393!!! 

That my friends is how brand loyalty is built. And how brand evangelicals are born. 

I now own two Bissell SpinWaves. Chances are, you own none. But you should.

And tell them Rich sent you. Buy yours here: https://amzn.to/3ZqCLmc

You're welcome.