Monday, March 27, 2023

Dear Mr. George Soros



Now that I've been made redundant -- I love this distinctive British euphemism -- by my friends at PayPal, I thought it would be a good time to consider what the future has in store for me. 

I could continue to do freelance work. Fortunately for me, while day rates are dropping and competition is overflowing, the bar has been lowered so drastically, the lift is not so difficult. If at all.

Thank you ChatGPT.

Having nothing to do, I've been able to spend some quality time on political social media. That's when I discovered this unique pattern that had its own Hebraic Seasonings, apologies to Aaron Sorkin. You see when the folks on the right side of the aisle want to smear the folks on the left, they will often cart out the antisemitic George Soros card. 

Congressmen, state senators, city district attorneys', even the local municipal dog catcher, it seems, are all funded by billionaire George Soros. 

And then I thought, why can't I create my dream job? I've always wanted to follow in the footsteps of Art Buchwald or PJ O'Rourke, and make a living as a newspaper man. I demurred when I discovered one could hardly make a living as a newspaper man. Or woman. 

It's 2023 now. 

And the landscape has changed. There's no reason in the world I can't pen snarky social/political commentary that is meticulously-backed by fact, while getting handsomely rewarded for my daily brilliance (albeit delusional?)

So, here it is, Mr. Soros, my formal application for: Soros-Funded WiseAss. 

I don't know how this will ever reach your desk and/or tablet, but stranger things have happened on the Interwebs, Like Nick Adams or Brigitte Gabriele.

NAME: Rich Siegel  (unless I'm trying to dupe the FB or Linkedin Community Standards Police)

OCCUPATION: Freelance Copywriter, Author, Blogger, Slayer of Red Hat Schmucks

EXPERIENCE: Yes. Embarrassingly way too much experience

WILLING TO TRAVEL: No. Unless you want to send me on fancy tropical junkets

ARE YOU A VETERAN: Does advertising count?

PRONOUNS: "Here's Your Check" as in "Here's Your Check" Rich Siegel

RESIDENT OF USA: Yes. For now.

SALARY RANGE: Dude, you're a billionaire, make it rain.

RELIGIOUS AFFILIATION: Mishbuchah, please see the enclosed photo from my Bar Mitzvah, March 20, 1971.


 

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