Sharing the Planet

 I came across a meme the other day and it stopped me in its tracks. It was something to the effect of:

Scientists say the Earth is 4.543 billion years old. And you had the good fortune of being alive on this planet the same time as Jerry Garcia.

I'm no fanboy. 

Though I will admit in the late 70's, while in college, I was very much enthralled with the Dead, mostly because their music just seemed to perfectly complement the times and go well with aromatic bong water. 

And because I hung out with a bunch of late stage hippies who were tree huggers -- actual tree huggers, aka Stumpies -- who were attending the Environmental School of Forestry which shares the campus with Syracuse University.

What stumped me was the assertion that the earth is 4.543 billion years old. And so I did a little digging? 

Want to know what I found? 

Of course you do, that's why you come to this worthless digital rag in the first place; inane facts, sappy sentimental stories and the occasional found photo of a Florida guy making mad love to the tailpipe of his 2005 Mazda Miata.

Keep in mind what I'm about to tell you comes from a site called HowStuffWorks.com otherwise known as Difficult Science Made Simple for Undereducated Copywriters. 

There, I discovered some interesting information, including the fact that my belief aligns perfectly with Classical Greek Philosopher Aristotle, who thought Time had no beginning or end and that the Earth was infinitely old. I'll go one further and posit that Space is equally infinite, with no beginning or end. Where Aristotle and I part ways is the Toga. 

Not a fan of wearing loose bedsheets as they tend to add 10 lbs. to my appearance and make me look fat. OK, Fatter.

Modern scientists differ however and use radiometric dating. Using the known half life of known elements they simply measure minerals in deep crust material and use the rate of decay to work backwards and find the true life of a particular rock. Do I know what I'm talking about? Only in the vaguest sense of the word. 

But more than Elizabeth Holmes of Theranos infamy knew about blood. Or science. Or anything, really.

Even if we accept the 4.543 billion year age, which is significantly less than infinity, it's still kind of mind-blowing.

So, if we go back to Jerry Garcia maxim, I would say I had the good fortune of sharing the planet with:

John Lennon

Paul McCartney

Steve Jobs

Groucho Marx

JFK

MLK

Monty Python

Golda Meir

Erma Bombeck

Charles Bukowski

David Sedaris

and many, more.

And if I'm lucky, I'll be alive on terra firma to witness the monumental fall from grace and ultimate delivery of justice to the one I call Shitgibbon.