At the car wash

This morning I am writing to you from inside the automated car wash at the corner of Jefferson and Overland in lovely Culver City. It's my fifth trip to the place in 6 days. Not because the car wash doesn't do a fine job, it does, but because last week I sprung for the Unlimited Monthly Pass.

It was only $24.95. Roughly the cost of two Super Duper Deluxe washes with the side view mirror protectorant and the UnderCarriage SprayGuard 3000™. So I splurged.  And now I can go through the car wash when I want, anytime I want.

Although I took a drive down there last night and was disappointed to see the car wash was not open at 11:38 PM. Apparently the cranky neighbors have an issue with the big noisy machines doing their thing when they want to go to sleep. Damn old people.

Still, it's a good deal and I love a good deal.
Always have.

I suppose it's a vestige of my childhood. When I was 11 years old my father had discovered a Chinese Restaurant in Hackensack, New Jersey that ran a Sunday Night MOT Special. For $6.95 you could eat all the Chinese food you want. That included the always expensive, always forbidden Lobster Lo Mein.

Our Hackensack ritual would actually begin Saturday night, when my father imposed a holiday-less fast on the whole family.

"The eating stops now so that by the time we get to the restaurant tomorrow night we're all starving and raring to go."

Though if memory serves me right, he would always -- political incorrectness coming your way -- mimic a Chinese accent and say, "...laling to go."

I apologize to my Asian friends and only add that to give this anecdote the proper/improper flavor it deserves. Consider this the MSG portion of the post.

As if that were not enough, my mother would also line her pocketbook with aluminum foil, so that some of those tasty egg rolls could make the drive home with us. Roadie rolls, if you will.

My affinity for the All You Want proposition did not end there.

Just as my buddies and I had reached drinking age (16 in New York if you knew the right people) we discovered a restaurant chain in NYC that sold a cheeseburger, fries and all the beer you could drink for just $8.95. I forgot the name. Something like Brew & Burger. Or Beef & Beer. Or Steer & Beer. Or The Cow & Hoosegow.

Intent on getting all of our $8.95's worth, we would settle into one of their leatherette lined booths at about 5 o'clock in the evening. Devour the last onion ring by 5:30. And be singing songs with the busboys at 1 in the morning as they were closing up the place, only after we drank enough beer to fill a large kiddie pool.

"You go now. Out. Out," shouted the Assistant Manager who'd had enough of our shenanigans. 

To be honest he'd had enough of us by 5:45.

I'm passing underneath the big industrial blow dryers now. And as I look over the hood it appears that white splotchy gift left by one of Culver City's infamous morning crows, still remains. Looks like I'll have to circle around and go through the car wash again.

Third time today should be the charm.