"Advertising, huh?"

For people of a certain age, mine, there is a recurring scene which takes place at dinner parties, weddings and I suppose Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, I don't know because thankfully I haven't been to one in the last 13 years.

"Come on, kid speed up the 'blechen flonken ich bayt Yisrael. Let's get to the festive meal, " my inner voice moans.

But painful Jewish ritual celebrations that always seem to require some kind of multi-hour long penance before the eating and drinking can begin, is NOT the recurring scene I am referring to. Besides I can't do any better, or get even close, than Sal Maniscalo and his vicious takedown of Passover Seders, see it here.

No, what I'm referring to is the meeting of new people. And the inevitable...

"Oh, retired now? But you used to work in advertising. That sounds interesting."

Maybe it was interesting before. Not so much now. 

Despite their mission to gain your attention there's not much interesting about E-Mail Subject Lines.

Because they're seen ad infinitum by millions of people Doomscrolling, there's not much interesting about banner ads.

And in accordance with Best Practices and social media banalities, there's nothing interesting about ads which all must conform and use the same layout as well as the same exact typeface, Calibri, if I'm not mistaken.

"Is there anything I might have seen I might recognize?" my new friend might inquire. 

Yeah, no. 

For a few reasons. About 20 years ago I became a lot less focused on making stuff, anything that could possibly get produced. And started focusing on making my nut. That included stashing away small bundles of cash for any rainy days that may lie ahead. I type that while staring out the window at the microburst drifting over Culver City --wettest, in terms of water, I've ever seen.

As well as the imbecilic, political maelstrom that has swept over our once-great country

I made a lot of stuff in the 80's and 90's of the previous century. Anyone who might, on the off chance, remember that would have traveled around the sun as often as I have. I doubt you've seen I made back then in fact I'd bet you can't remember what you had for lunch yesterday. 

I know because I can't remember where I left my Prevagen™.

"Did you make funny commercials?"

I did make some funny commercials, some unintentionally funny. But none of the hundreds of commercials I wrote, helped develop, or had any part in, were never great. Not one. And most, in cringy hindsight, barely any good. Thankfully they committed to film in the pre-YouTube era.

That is my vocational regret. I have many other vocational regrets, but that's enough digital soul searching for one day.

"Excuse me, I'm going to the bar for another Evan Williams and soda."