On the heels of yesterday's odd post about Gastro Obscura and oversized livestock, I was reminded of an ad campaign that, like thousands of others I had worked on, never saw the light of day.
Literally.
My partner and I had been freelancing at a discreetly unnamed agency and prepared to pitch a month and a half's worth of $$$olid work to the powers that be, but the previous team ate into our time and the 79 page deck we had artfully prepared never even got looked at. Never.
No big deal. As my good friend of more than 40 years and former Mailroom Clerk boss often says, "Get check. Cash check."
Moreover, I'm past the age of advocating, fighting, defending or otherwise attempting to cajole small minded people of work they should be doing. I simply do my best, put the goods on the table and let the buyer decide.
This business has literally beaten the Fight out of me.
Nevertheless, the Pizza Hut work we did is worthy of an anecdote, at the very least. Particularly in light of the funny-less dreck that is currently running on TV with spokesperson Craig Robinson, who I consider the be a genuinely funny guy -- just not in these spots.
During our research, we discovered that Pizza Hut had a different spokesperson in the 1960's -- a character called Pizza Hut Pete. Our idea, perhaps not the most original, was to bring that old DNA to the fore.
We would bring Pizza Hut Pete back to life only in a different life form. In our incarnation, the ethnically-questionable PHP would morph from an animated character to a freakishly large man. We loved the idea of a spokesperson being near 8 feet tall. PHP would by default be the largest human corporate spokesperson on TV. With the possible exception of the Jolly Green Giant and the pillowy Michelin man.
His outsized dimension would allow PHP to command the attention of the camera. He'd chew up the scenery and leave a lasting impression on every pizza lover he'd come in contact with. Admittedly, this was to distract from the crappy nature of Pizza Hut pizza, which to my NY palate doesn't resemble pizza as much as it does a large bialye with ketchup and cheese on top.
We placed PHP in all kinds of situations.
He'd deliver a pizza to a couple living in a second story apartment right through their kitchen window.
He'd rescue cats from trees.
He'd dislodge basketballs stuck between the backboard and the rim.
He'd drive a car with a custom built sunroof to accommodate his circus-show height.
And he'd do it all while pimping the endless (and frankly stupid) promotional deals or worthless concoctions coming out of the Pizza Hut corporate kitchen.
I don't know about you, but when my family or friends get in the mood for pizza, that's what we want. Not interested in pizza crusts stuffed with cheese, cool whip, or crab meat. We just want a damn good pizza.
Pizza Hut ought to consider that for the next campaign and/or agency.
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