Spark it up

One of the cardinal rules of marketing is "know thy audience." So when it comes to roundseventeen and the handful of readers who bother to stop by everyday (OK, 4 days a week), I believe I know mine.

Suffice to say, that most of you are probably against capital punishment. Despite the recent moderation of my politics, this is where you and I will have to agree to disagree.

You see, I am FOR capital punishment. In a big, big way. And I'm not talking that Old Testament capital punishment. Those people were ready to stone people to death for having sex on a Saturday or eating a cheeseburger.

I'm talking about the rational, logical acknowledgment that there are human beings who are not fit to live among human beings. And frankly, we should not let them live among human beings. We need to put them out of our misery.

Case in point: the recent conviction of home invasion robber/kidnapper/rapist/murderer Steven Hayes of Connecticut. He and his accomplice Joshua Komisarjevsky burst into a home, tied two teenage girls to a bed, raped their mother, then set the house on fire, killing all three.

A jury rightly sentenced Mr. Hayes to death. I know some of you will have a problem with state-sponsored death. I don't. Perhaps it's because I am a father with two teenage daughters of my own that this case has struck such a chord.

The truth is, given the opportunity, I would gladly hop on a redeye flight, rent a car, drive to the McDougall-Walker Correctional Facility and pull the switch that would send 50,000 volts through that monster's worthless body.

But I would bring a friend. An electrician. And have him skillfully reconfibulate the flik-flaks on Old Sparky. So that I could administer those 50,000 death-inducing volts, 100 painful jolts at a time.