The new ink cartridges are here

Try as I might, I cannot get over last week's attempted bombing of two Jewish Synagogues in Chicago by some crazed Yemenis. CNN reported that one of the temples was dedicated to serving the lesbian and gay community, hence the photo of Rosie O'Donnell.

I know Rosie is not Jewish but when you type the word 'Lesbian' into Google Search, the result is a lot of pornography. It's a Sunday morning, my daughters are running around the house and I can't be pouring through hundreds of shots of sapphic erotica, titillating as that may be.

Actually, if I'm being honest and brutally candid, and when am I not, lesbian porn does little for me. I know some men are into it, I'm not. Even though I profess to have a healthy imagination, when I see two women satisfying each other I can't help feeling like I've been left out of the equation. If anything, I'd enjoy watching two naked women wrestling. Then, at least, I could fantasize that they were fighting over me.

I seem to have gotten a little off track.

Back to the bombing.

I can't imagine life in Yemen is any picnic. Between the heat, the sand, the illiteracy and the camel shit which stretches out as far as the eye can see, it's no wonder Yemenis are jumping on boats to skip across the Sea of Aden for some well-needed R&R in nearby Somalia.

What I don't understand is how a bunch of k.d. lang-loving, lattke-making yuppies from Ravenswood, Illinois have anything to do with the sad state of affairs in Yemen. I'll grant you these women have a misguided love for deep dish pizza --for that matter so does everybody else west of Trenton, NJ -- but that is not a crime worthy of an inkjet toner full of plastic explosives.

Of course through it all you have to admire the Jewish sense of humor in the face of such terror.

When asked about the possibility of opening the ill-fated package, Congregation Beth El Binah President Diane Litke remarked, "we get our office supplies from Office Depot, not Yemen."