Lucy Bouls

So the other day, my daughter was home because there were Parent Teacher Conferences. I decided to take her to the S&W Cafe in Culver City. We have been going there for close to 20 years. In fact, it used to be known as Sam & Woody's. Back then, the cafe was only half the size it is now.

And in a significant demographic change, the S&W used to be quite the lesbian hangout. On a typical Sunday morning, I was the only male in the place. Now that I think about it, a lot like my house.

While the clientele has changed, the operation at Sam and Woody's hasn't. They still don't take credit cards. They don't take guff. And they don't take reservations. You simply put your name and the number of guests on a list and wait until one of the heavily-tattooed girls calls for you.

This old-school, analog system works well. It also never fails to bring out the 14-year old boy in me. I didn't do it that day, because my daughter was with me, but I have on many occasion added to the list a name that screams out for being screamed out.

"Is there a Mike Rotch here? Table for Mike Rotch. Last call for Mike Rotch."

I know that's juvenile, asinine and sophomoric, but I never made any pretense of being anything but that. Some would say (like many copywriters) I've built an entire career around it.

Maybe you're planning a trip to the S&W cafe.

Maybe you'd like to write a funny name on a sign in sheet.

Maybe you should visit tuesdayswithmantu.com, scroll through the Extras section and try out the Scaminator 3000.

And don't forget, the book makes an excellent stocking stuffer for the 14-year old in your house.