Sales Rise When You Proselytize

I am such an idiot. A stubborn, never-listen-to anyone, bonafide idiot. A living, breathing, walking talking example that NOT all Jews are good with money. Had I known the design your own T-shirts and coffee mugs retail business was so lucrative, I would have thrown my anti-Trump memes in the ring a long, long time ago. And easily surpassed the meager returns on my sagging 401K.

"Just back the Brink's truck into the driveway boys, and put those bales of cash on the shelves in the garage, right above the box marked Belding Bowls. Can I get you some coffee? It's from Costa Rica."

As many of you know, and are probably making space in your chest of drawers and kitchen cabinets for all the Siegel merch on hand, I reluctantly took the sage advice of Ms. Muse and put together a collection of custom made wearables and drinkables on Bonfire. 

For the 8 people on the planet who haven't bookmarked the site, you can find the viral sensation here.

If that fails, you can always query one of the thousands of people you will no doubt spot on the street bearing the trademarked™ the signature Siegel sentiment. Which, I can only assume will be growing exponentially as the orange buffoon continues to self destruct by sending Gestapo goons to our streets. And hides his mushroom pecker behind the dated, unflattering skirts of his clueless Attorney General, Pam Bondi.

And yes, if you haven't guessed, this too will appear on a T-shirt. 

Sales have been so astronomical I am having difficulty fitting my already-oversized head into my car and passing through the doorways of my house which was built in the late 40's and not very accommodating to a  nouveau-wealthy and self satisfied Custom Swag Tycoon.  

Moreover I've had to take some crash courses in Excel in order to keep up with the flood of incoming orders and the bookkeeping, which is all Greek to me, despite coming from a family of CPAs.

And now, the obligatory (though hardly necessary) call to action. 

If I can decipher Bonfire's complimentary Promo Code widget, I will add it to the end of this post. But since many of you are employed (or were employed) in the creative arts, I will give the next 5 buyers and exclusive opportunity to write and/or design their own T-shirt to be added to The Trash Trump Treasure Chest.

Not to get too far out ovcer my stips, but this is nothing less than your chance for immortality!

What are you waiting for? 

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The code for you frugal buyers is Unleash25. Have at it.