Yeah, no

I've been warned by my former boss and friend (who shall remain nameless) that I need to tread lightly when talking about my 2 year run at PayPal. Suffice it to say, my time there was not exactly a fount of creativity. 

To be fair, I never expected it to be. 

I was writing Subject lines and Preheaders in order to get people to open newsletters with boilerplate copy about 17% discounts on air fryers. Or 25% off UGH boots. Or Back to School supplies including the large 64 crayon box, now marked down 35%. Oh the glamorous life of a washed up copywriter.

If you're like me, which I pray you're not, you spend every morning going through these tedious and relentless emails and unsubscribe to as many as possible. But they replicate like an unforgiving cancer. 

My best line was for a holiday sale.

SUBJECT LINE: She deserves a great Mother's Day gift.

PREHEADER: Especially from you 10 lbs. babies.

Not surprisingly, that line outperformed all the others in our weekly A, B, C, D, E and F testing. Also not surprisingly, I got in a heap of trouble for even remotely connoting a dilated vagina, such as it were.

Ah, good times.

Two weeks ago, PayPal released a big blockbuster commercial featuring Will Ferrell. You can find it on YouTube. Or, like the millions of American consumers who already know how PayPal works, you can just ignore it. You won't be missing anything. 

I'm not a huge fan, but if you insist on seeing Will Ferrell actually being funny, you could go here. 

And if you're looking for funny commercials I suggest you track down the three new spots for Firehouse Subs. They don't feature any celebrities. Nor any overpriced music. Nor any huge production values.

They're just simple, straightforward situational spots driven by love of hot sauce. And more importantly the myriad choices of tongue combustion available at Firehouse Subs.

I happen to be an aficianado of hot sauces and often say, "It's not hot unless it burns twice."

That's the kind of line that gets me trouble. Perhaps you'll forgive me if I show you my favorite of the Firehouse spots:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GUupxgBsI4