Tuesday, January 16, 2024

The Fall of A Giant


It's been a while since I've written about Captain Ouchie Foot and all things sedition-related. You've probably been relieved about that. Or, more likely, haven't noticed.

But don't take my silence on this existential matter as anything but me being temporarily distracted by my new business goings-on out in Palm Springs. Namely the preparation of my vacation rental home. And the accumulation of receipts to validate my massive upcoming tax write offs.

And now it appears my two current interests have converged.

Last week, Fox News announced they were no longer to accept advertising from Mike Lindell, the former crackhead turned bedding mogul turned insane, disinformation-peddling, orange ass-kissing Russian Stooge. 

I love Mike Lindell. He is a walking, talking Schadenfreude-Polluzza. Every time he opens his often slobbering mouth, an Independent Voter gets his, or her, or their, wings.  Because what spews out is often no more rational than the rambling homeless guy at my local park who stuffs balloons under his oversized sweater, as well as a basketball, and pretends to be a pregnant woman.  

Lindell might be the 2nd best reason not to vote for ex Precedent Shitgibbon. I think we all know what or who would be the first.

As it turns out, I have been scouring the linens aisle at my local desert Walmart Superstore. I recently spent the better part of day and a night washing, bleaching and not folding all the linens left by my previous tenants as evidenced here...

That's just 20% of the total linen inventory -- the linventory, as it were. 

Hence I decided to treat myself to a new set. Thinking a little color would be a nice addition. They're 800 thread count and as comfortable as the little toy lamb I used to carry around as a toddler, also evidenced here...


It should be noted the lamb, the two front teeth and hair are all MIA.

I would be remiss if as a Certified Amazon Affiliate Marketer, I did not sufficiently pimp the aforementioned linens and receive a massive commission check. But the truth is, I don't remember the brand. And frankly had no idea there were dozens and dozens of cutthroat competing companies in the International Linen cartel.

And now, sorry Mike, it appears there will soon be one less. 

But should you, or someone you know be in need of a pillow, may I heartily recommend this one: https://amzn.to/47v7Vel

Or literally any other pillow on the Amazon page. Because the last thing you want is a lumpy pillow, which are not good for sleeping, but are good for producing a laugh, as evidenced here...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbhgPKVgb9M


 

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