Wednesday, February 8, 2023

The new debit card is here!


Got my new Debit Card today. 

That should not be newsworthy. However the fact that Wells Fargo, not known for their efficiency or for their stellar customer service, got it to me before the old one expired should not go without notice.

These are the same folks who kept me on hold for more than 4 hours and 38 minutes at one time in my life. That was before the advent of, 

"Due to unusually high level of demand, our customer service representatives cannot get to your call. If you'd like, we can call you back. You will not lose your place in line. Your call is important to us and we will reach you as soon as possible."

But this post is ostensibly not about my troubled 39 year relationship with Wells Fargo and the many times they have left me scratching my head thinking, "I should leave this crooked bank and put my nest egg -- such as it is-- with a different financial institution that cares and helps its customers." 

You know, if they ever existed.

While removing the new debit card from the envelope, I could not help but notice that the color had changed. It was red. Now it's black. Not exactly black, it's kind of a matte black with hints of brown. Think of your favorite dark chocolate. Now think of it a few shades darker.

It's also flecked, not unlike the hundreds, nay thousands, of quartz stones Deb and I looked at while searching for the just the right counter when we remodeled the kitchen in 2018. Oh the hours we wasted and tortured ourselves with while nail-biting NFL games were going on and not being watched by me.

And then it occurred to me, those same back and forth and forth and back discussions took place at the conference room(s) at the prestiged offices of Wells Fargo. Only worse. Because it wasn't just two people angsting over the decision. In fact, you could hardly call it angsting when one of the two people -- me-- was heard on many occasion to say, "I'm fine with that Deb, just pick the one you want." 

No, in the case of the debit card color selection, I'm going to go out on the corporate limb here and suggest there were at least two dozen Marketing, Customer Operations, and Cost Analysts, scrutinizing, touching, flipping and rescrutinzing the card, every which way to Sunday, when NFL games are typically played, to get the color selection and textural feel just right.

This process, challenging as it was, must have dragged on forever. They probably could've settled the matter when it reached 17 rounds of revisions (SWIDT?) but more likely went 170 rounds. Because with folks working a hybrid schedule, many of the important decision makers at Wells Fargo were on Zoom calls and could not get a bead on the color or the unusual feel of the card.

All of which leads me to -- Why?

It's overthinking taken to exceptional levels of American bullshiterry. And it's but one tiny example of why we can't have nice things. If they were to bring in a Sigma Six cost expert to audit the design, manufacture and useless hammering out and compromising, I'm sure WF would find they dipped, if not sank, into huge vats of red ink.

"Welcome to Wells Fargo, where we take the profits and pass the excessive costs on to you."

BTW, I prefer the old red card. When fumbling through my overstuffed wallet, the color difference made it easier to find.



1 comment:

jgodard said...

All after a lengthy and expensive discussion about whether it should be, "Premier", "Prime", "Gold", "Platinum", "Ultimate", "Primo", "One", "Hoo-Ha", "Poobah", or "Max".