Wednesday, January 25, 2023

I'd like to speak with the MANager


Over the course of writing this blog, now approaching its 15th year, I have violated the unspoken boundaries of TMI. I know from the picture (aka, click bait) I have led with, I am once again walking up to that precipice.

Restraint Rich, restraint.

Let me start by saying, the algorithm, she is a crafty and cunning beast. Following the passing of my wife 13 months ago, my social media feed began changing. I started receiving all kinds of ads for male grooming and, how shall I put this...vigor enhancing products. 

I suppose the data collecting witches and warlocks, knew from the habits of other new widows, or even divorcees who had been married close to three decades, that I had moved into a new demographic and would be susceptible to folks hawking everything from ball deodorant to underwear with copper-lined Jewel Pouches™. 

It's also likely that the algorithm knew I spent nearly a year crafting copy for Dollar Shave Club. And was more than familiar with the new attention men were paying to their hygiene and the many manifestations of their manliness.

Finally, as a fella, with excessive hirsuteness, the fine folks at Manscaped had in me an easy target. 

And so I purchased one of their Testosterful™ (my word) packages, including all the necessary weaponry to rid myself of unwanted, now-white, hair follicles. Little did I know that I had not only purchased the equipment that would revitalize and soften my previously woollen skin, I had inadvertently signed up for a their subscription service.

Meaning, each month or so, I would receive a new lotion/potion/notion to make me ready for this Brave New World. 

I'm a longtime shit-shower-shave kind of guy and my metrosexuality only goes so far. And so I reached out to the Manscaped company and informed them of my disinclinations.

And this is where it gets interesting. 

Or, hopefully, interesting-er. 

They did not bat an eye. Unlike my previous experience with Butcher Box and their deceitful nature regarding subscription cancellation, Manscaped sent me 3 (not one) emails apologizing for the confusion.

Moreover, yesterday I received a new box from them. I offered to send it back for a refund. They would would have nothing of the kind. And insisted I keep the contents of the box. And quickly returned my hard-earned money.  

Maybe hard-earned is a bit hyperbolic. Writing and blasting out emails is hardly the same as cobalt mining or bull insemination.

Two things. 

First, "caveat emptor", let the buyer beware. The online subscription model is quite prevalent these days. Read the fine print before you checkout. Hopefully with PayPal -- had to squeeze in a plug for my employer.

And second, thanks to my complimentary bottle of Paraben-Free Crop Preserver, my Southern Territory has never smelt better.


Ooops, I went over that precipice.

  

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