Give, give, give

Years ago I was having another get-together lunch with my ex-Chiat/Day partner, John Shirley. We like to convene at Szechuan Palace, this shabby little Chinese restaurant in Playa Del Rey.

It's not great Chinese food by any means.

It's not even good.

On its best day, it's edible.

The chicken in the Kung Pao Chicken may not be chicken. The Won Ton Soup is made with the rinse water from the dishwasher. And the Diet Coke is always flat. And has less gas in it than the Hindenburg two days after the disaster.

Compensating for all that, the waiters, actually I think there's only one, is a surly, scouring man who hasn't experienced joy since 1993.

But it's cheap, it's incredibly relaxed and we always get a booth, which, in my mind is the only way to eat in a restaurant. That sheen of privacy allows for real conversation. And on this particular instance, that came in handy.

Because I was sharing some deep family issues and how the burden was weighing on my shoulders. I unloaded the details of several ongoing matters, situations in which I had to come to the rescue, again, of the most important people in my life.

Having unloaded all this, and in between bites of the red hot peppers and cashew nuts in my meal, John turned to me and left me with a nugget of wisdom.

Keep in mind, Mr. Shirley is a blond-haired surfer boy, who never ages, and who in his signature T-shirt, board shorts and flips flops, looks like a beach extra from a 1967 Jan and Dean music video.

"Rich, there's two ways to look at this. You can kvetch (I'm not sure he used that word) about being the guy everyone turns to for help. Or you can put yourself in the shoes of your relatives who are in the unfortunate situation of having to ask for help. If you ask me it's better to be in the position of being the giver not the givee."

And there it was.
A ju jitsu like shift in perspective.

I bring this up not only because it has not only helped me look at the world through a different prism but because it has relevance today.

Look, I'm no expert on trade and world economics. But neither is the schmuck in the White House, who recently whined...

"We're like the world's piggy bank that everybody's robbing." 

Yeah, sure Einstein.

American exceptionalism was always about helping others, sharing our enormous wealth, welcoming immigrants and celebrating, and fighting for, the cause of freedom at home and abroad. If only Captain Ouchie Foot could understand.

If only he had the capacity to understand.

Per John's point, it far better to be the giver than the givee.

After lunch, I was handed a fortune cookie. It was not as prescient as the earlier advice.

It was simply a collection of suggested lottery numbers. Suffice to say that had I won I would not feel compelled to tell you that I am available for your next advertising assignment.