Confessions of a dog lover

I love dogs. I really do.

If I didn't I wouldn't have spent months combing the websites of local shelters looking to bring just the right dog back into our lives. And fortunately we have found the right one.

But what I really love are quiet dogs.

And not the ones that live on seemingly all sides of my house. They bark. They bark loudly. And they bark at all kinds of inconvenient times of the day. Like 1:30 at night when I've fallen asleep. And at 5 AM when I want to stay asleep.

This dilemma has sent me to back to the internet. This time to find someone or something that can put an end to this auditory waterboarding.

That journey took me all the way to China.
And the website of a company called Nice Stuff.

After 6 weeks of customs, complicated Chinese Trade regulations and all manner of asshattery produced by the bumbling Shitgibbon administration, I'm happy to say my Training Dog Banish Dog Maching Device has arrived.

I'm looking forward to giving the Training Dog Banish Dog Maching Device a whirl.

But only after I stop laughing at the enclosed instruction manual, which I will partially enclose for your smile time happy amusement.