Monday, May 7, 2018

Swedish Snuff Porn


When they come to bury me, they better do it twice.

Faced with an eternity in the hot place, I might just turn to my keepers and insist on going back above ground to finish my work. I'm just that persistent.

Persistently obnoxious.
Persistently provocative.
Persistently persistent.

I just don't give up. Ask the management at Volvo Cars of Las Vegas.

Months ago, they ripped me off and tried to charge me $3000 worth of repairs for a car only valued at $4500. Their estimate included a new battery for an astounding $335.

Instead, I donated the car to the Jewish Family Services of Las Vegas, who fixed the car for $227. I got a tax write-off for the vehicle. But I also got a burning ulcer and the only prescription is revenge.

And so then I started posting less than complimentary dealership reviews on Yelp, Cars.com, Kbb.com, edmunds.com, and anywhere potential Nevada car buyers might be researching.

Apparently, my guerrilla campaign struck pay dirt. Because a few weeks ago the manager of Volvo Cars of Las Vegas called me. He told me the dealership had changed hands, from the sticky fingers of the Sonic Automotive Group (avoid at all costs) to a new management group called Findlay.

In fact, the new manager told me the reason Sonic got the boot was because of the many underhanded tactics and overcharged repairs they had inflicted on past customers. Including Yours truly.

I discussed the specifics of my story with the new guy, Richard, who said he completely understood my predicament and that furthermore, he would go to bat for me.

No offense, Richard, I don't think you completely understand who you are dealing with.

This was more than two months ago. And I still have not received a call, or more importantly, a check from Volvo.

What I have received however, is a whole bunch of new linkedin connections to the unsuspecting C-Suite Volvo executives in Gothenburg, Sweden. I'm now linkedin partners with the Volvo Director of Global Communications, the Volvo Customer Service Operations Vice President of North America, the Volvo Strategic Planning Director of Loyalty Programs, and about a dozen others who for some reason confused me with being a mature grown up professional.

And while money has yet to be deposited in my account, there is hardly a price you can put on well-earned self satisfaction. You see, by using social media and turning it on its head, I have made it a regular habit of splattering all over the linkedin newsfeeds of these confused Swedes; calling out the bullshit regular paying customers are forced to endure at the hands of an indifferent billion dollar corporation.

Volvo may build safe cars, but Volvo dealerships are anything but safe.

Here's a small sample of my handiwork:







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