The Final Phone Book Entry

I often joke that I am 44 years old.

Of course, we all know that not to be true. I've been lying. I'm not 44. I'm actually closer to 14.

The document above confirms that.

As you may recall, years ago I was involved with several scammers from Nigeria, Togo and the Ivory Coast. I would engage these email scammers and collect all the correspondence for my book, which I'm assuming is already on your shelf.

Because I expressed an interest in the deals these scammers were proposing, I would often request official documentation. And because they always thought they had a sucker on the line, they would respond and send me all kinds of goodies.

Like the Certificate above made out to, are you ready, Heywood Jablomi.

Say it three times fast, out loud, and you'll know why I treasure this phony certificate from the Cote de Ivore Office of the Minister.

I've always had a inclination to sophomoric names. I believe this came about while reading Mad Magazine and its infamous list of must read books:

Yellow River by I.P. Dailey

The Zookeepers Death by Claude Bawls

Supporting Athletes by Jacques Strapp

Getting Fired by Anita Job

Still Not Pregnant by Boris Bitchyakockov

All of which brings us to the today's topic, Writing the Phone Book. Mercifully, the last.

I can think of no better way to conclude this ill-thought series than with a list of names actually found in the April 2009 Edition of the Culver City/Marina Del Rey Phonebook.


Peter Kuntz

Hung Lo

Will Fukui

Bruce Dickhoff

Norma Puziss

I know, I know, pretty juvenile.

But as I have often stated on this blog, I am easily amused.

If you made it this far, it's fair to assume you are as well.