Wednesday, January 21, 2015

The Return of Seka

I'm a whore.

Instead of pursuing a career writing movies, television or even books, I sold out, and offered my limited ability to string together words to the highest bidder.

I'm the bought-and-paid-for property of the Fortune 500.

A professional Call-To-Action Girl.

As such and as a freelancer for nearly a dozen years, I've learned to scoop up as many work assignments as the ink cartridges in my HP 6700 will allow.

Recently, while combing through my Junk mail file, I came across this from Seka Marianna:

I don't read French, but I'm smart enough to recognize words like "Project". And since I know there are ways to avoid paying taxes on overseas assignments, I responded to her inquiry with an inquiry of my own.

It turns out it was not the opportunity I had assumed. Seka, and how could I not respond to a woman who shares the name with one of the greatest porn stars of the modern era, was doing a little Internet phishing.

For a good laugh, I urge you to enlarge the picture and enjoy her "sales pitch."

It's clear that English is not her first language.
Or her second.
Or even her third.
My favorite line reads:

"What good still remain in the box that is already known cure by which the grass is worn through being constantly trampled?"

If I've said that once I've said that 1000 times.
It's right out of Howard Gossage Direct Response 101.

Turns out Seka, if that is her name or even if that is even her picture (see above), has inherited a large sum of money from her father and is looking to make real estate investments here in the United States.

Of the 330 million Americans she has wisely chosen me to assist her in that endeavor. I'm a longtime Toilets & Tenants Man.

As it turns out, 2015 has started off with a bang. And right now my plate is full.

Otherwise, Miss Seka Marianna, I would pursue you and your "real estate project" with vigor.

Your mangled English, your inability to spot the reverse scam, and your partially-correct assumption that middle-aged married men are financially susceptible when tempted by the allure of a younger, exotic women, would all be fodder for my next book.

A follow up to Tuesdays with Mantu, entitled:

Saturdays with Seka, 
How I Duped the Duplex Queen of Senegal.

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