"They was dressed like caaawwpps."

I finally got around to watching The Town the other night.

That damn Netflix DVD had been sitting around for weeks. I'm going to have to rethink my whole monthly membership relationship with them. Why can't there just be a store with all the DVD's of all the movies and then you could go to that store and rent a movie when you want to see it?

Anyway, it was serviceable bank heist movie. Good actions scenes. Nice plot development. And lots of salty New England dialogue. You can count on Ben Affleck, a local boy, to capture the flavor and nuance of Boston.

It's a city like no other. My sister-in-law lives there and we have gone back for several family functions. I'm not familiar with the Charleston area where The Town takes place. We were charmed by places like Marshfield and Scituate, a little south of Boston and right on the water. At one point, we even talked about moving there.

And why not? Boston is an advertising city. I could have found work at Mullen or Arnold or Modernista (although in retrospect, that wouldn't have been a good choice). The public schools in the suburbs are excellent. You can buy a fresh Maine lobster for the price of a Tito's taco.

And of course I love the people of Boston. Especially the bawdy Irish Catholics with their hard nosed drinking and their straight-faced sarcasm.

Not only that, housing prices in New England are much lower than here in Southern California. I could have sold my house and bought a 13-room Colonial with oceanfront views. And still had enough money left over for a proper Man Cave Basement with free flowing kegs and a lifetime supply of Sam Adams.

So what stopped us, you might ask.
Or, "what staaawwwppped us?"

That's right, it's that damn accent.

I can listen to it for about 10 minutes before it starts giving me a wicked awesome migraine. And I don't get migraines. It's not just one person with that pick-axe-on-a-chalkboard accent, it's all of them. From Duxbury to Rockport.

In 1965 Albert DeSalvo was identified and convicted as the Boston Strangler. Though doubts remain to this day whether the state got the right man. Seems they could never pin down his motive. I'm just spitballing here, but if I had to guess why that man was driven to throttle 13 women with his bare hands, it would have something to do with that accent.

That damn Boston accent.