What a bunch of Dicks

Capitalizing on the egotistical tendencies of Creative Directors to Google their own names, a young copywriter recently secured a new job by purchasing specific Google Adwords for a measly $6.

No stranger to narcissism, I decided to Google my own name to see what came up. The results were not pleasant. For one thing, and this is not surprising, there are a number of people walking this planet who happen to share my moniker. What if an old girlfriend or long lost college roommate or even a disgruntled landlord were to try and locate me?

I certainly wouldn't want them to confuse me with Rich Siegel, President of Bare Bones Software. Make no mistake, that Rich, burly and very Jewish in appearance, has done well for himself and I probably wouldn't mind having his bank account. But he also writes a blog about operating platforms, software upgrades and other deadly dull geeky crap.

Then there's the Rich Siegel who is President and Publisher of Hospitality Upgrade. Fortunately, his picture comes up with a Google Search. And no one would confuse me with this handsome, distinguished looking thin man with the full head of hair. Plus, he's in the hospitality business. Given my general abhorrence of people, I don't think anyone would have thought I went into the hospitality business.

Finally, there's Pianist Rich Siegel.

This Dick really chafes my hide. First, because he is at the very top of the Rich Siegel list. But even more so because he is such an ardent anti-Zionist. That Rich Siegel, whose views on Israel are in agreement with Mahmoud Ahmadinjad (which ought to tell you something) has even gone to the trouble of penning songs about Palestinians who have lost their lives in the conflict. Conveniently ignoring the thousands of Jews who have died at the hands of terrorists, hijackers and suicide bombers.

Moreover, this hacky musician lives in Hackensack. Apologies to my good friend Kenny Lee, but I'd hate to have anyone walk away from a Google Search of my name and believe after all my years on this Earth, I ended up in Hackensack, New Jersey.