"Hand me that rock."

What is wrong with Senator Charles Grassley?

Yesterday, in a radio interview, the Iowa lawmaker actually suggested that the AIG wizards who concocted the disastrous financial derivatives and then walked away with tax-payer funded bonuses, follow in the footsteps of shamed Japanese businessmen and commit suicide.

You sir, should be ashamed.

An arsenic cocktail is not going to benefit anyone. Least of all, the laid-off teacher, the out-of-work auto worker or the even the underemployed copywriter/creative director.

Hari-kari may suffice for the Far East, but that’s just not the way we do business here in the US of A.

I suggest we gather the AIG C-Suiters in a large and inescapable quarry. Then I would offer cash-strapped Americans the opportunity to vent their collective frustration with the following weapons of choice: The $5 Bag-O-Pebbles, the $10 Rock of Rages or the $50 Angry Shareholder Boulder.

And of course, I would put the whole thing on Pay Per View.