I hate lawyers and their propensity to maul the English language. One could argue their lack of exactitude has put this country in the situation it is in today. As you sit and read this, the highest judicial court in the land is parsing and dissecting the Constitution in an effort to give our former president the freedom to commit crimes. Before, during and after he was in office.
I don't know how to define Obscenity, but this takes it by a country mile.
I know you're wondering how this all gets to Miracle Whip, but it does. In less time than it takes to make an egg salad sandwich. Trust me.
You see, while I was at PayPal, a fine company with honorable intentions with astute leadership and crack marketing whizzes, I learned they had an entire team devoted to social media. They tweeted (or X'ed). They cultivated relationships. They even had their own Facebook page. And probably still do.
I have better things to do with my time than to hunt down the PayPal Facebook Page.
Or do I?
Fascinated as I was about the prospect of people voluntarily following PayPal and all the innovations they were developing in the field of online payment systems, I thought, "Wait, what? People follow PayPal?"
And then I thought, I wonder what happened to the Miracle Whip generation of rebels who zealously eschewed mayonnaise and pledged their allegiance to the cause of No More Mayo, as outlined in this classic 2009 piece:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKOfGvbUx-s
Further, in service to the 9 loyal readers of RoundSeventeen, I put on my detective cap and ventured down this yolk-based Rabbit Hole.
It should come to no one's surprise, that there is indeed a Facebook Group dedicated to Miracle Whip. Not a small group, mind you. There are close to 250,000 people (perhaps worldwide) who wake up every morning, eager to open their Facebook page and find out what the Kraft Miracle Whip Crafters have done for them lately.
As if we didn't have enough tsuras about the 2020 election did you know this was going on?
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