No harkening back

There's a 50% chance many of you don't recognize this guy. Those that do will already have a frown on their face, because this is a man who has made very few friends in the ad industry. And spent the majority of his life making money off the ad industry. 

Hoarding. Grabbing. And stuffing his tiny 34 Regular suit great wads of cash.

Notice I said 'off' the industry. Not IN the industry. Because this useless tool has never made an ad in his life. Nor has he had a hand in anything remotely creative. Or inspiring. Or altruistic. Sir (and I use that word lightly) Martin Sorrell is a bean counter, whose sole interest is to count the beans in his personal account and grow it exponentially.

All, I might add, at the expense of you, and I, and the sad lot of worker bees who are dashing for the door before the lights are turned out and it all falls into the un-sentient hands of ChatGPT.

But before that happens, Marty, would have us all to go back into the office. 

When I say 'us' I use that in the collective, swirling-my-arms-around-in-a-meaningful-gesture kind of way. Because I'm not going anywhere. I'm semi-retired and have better things to do than cranking out landing page copy. Or urgently urgent CTAs. Or snappy subject lines about swollen testicles for emails no one wants, or ever, reads. 

How many of you would like to wake up tomorrow and not have an email box stuffed jelly tight with spam from AppleBees to Zentra, makers of fine CBD gummies guaranteed to make you last 7 hours in bed? 

I could do a joke about "lasting" 7 hours but choose to take the high road. You know, the road Marty has never seen. And not just because the hedges exceed 5 feet in height.

I don't know enough about the WFH v. Return to Office issue to speak with any authority. I do know that I loved working from my den, drinking my own coffee, using my own bathroom and jumping on my Peloton whenever I wanted to. Can't begin to tell you how many completely useless one hour all hands marketing presentations I sat through, while burning up hundreds of calories with Sam Yo. Or Kendall Toole.

But I do know the "decline and fall" has little to do about where the work gets done and much more about the lack of creativity in the work that does get done. 

Moreover, I would posit the lack of creativity is driven by greedy holding companies and nickel-squeezing CEOs who bottom line every challenge to make sure whatever money is made, is sent upstairs to the mahogany C-suites.

I still can't get the taste of shit out of my mouth, when in 2004, after 2 years at Y&R, I had the temerity to ask for a raise but was told the company was tightening its belt. That was the very same day Adweek published a story about how Sir Marty (Chairman of the Holding Company that held Y&R) cashed in and signed a 5 year contract worth $110 million.

Martin doesn't know me from Adam. But if he continues to pepper social media with his thinly-veiled, greed-driven postulations, I'm going to go all medieval on his pint-sized bullcockery and make sure he does.