Caganer, 2022: poops, Kanye and Jews

 

It's December, already. 

Christmas is just one paycheck cycle away. And so it's time to break out my annual Caganer post. Of particular interest this year, as we have some new readers who might not be familiar with the caganer lore. 

And because this Christmas season there's seems to be a space laser aimed at my people by the likes of Ye(or Kanye or Can-Ye-All STFU), Nick Fuentes and even our ex president, you know the least racist man in the world, it seems a good time to address the sulfurous antisemitism that has polluted the airwaves.

Let's start with the Caganer. 

You can spot him in the Nativity scene pictured above. He's the one on the extreme far right. He seems to be kneeling down. 

In fact, if you'll look closer, he is kneeling down. 

Look even closer and you'll see he has his pants around his ankles. 

Look even closer than closer, or if you have Hi- Res, and oh my god, that little farmer man is "Launching a Life Boat off the SS Assitania!"

During some research years ago I discovered the Catalan tradition of festooning their Nativity scenes with a young man "Dumping all his Shares of Hometown Buffet." 

Lest you think I'm shitting you about this odd practice, you can read more about it here. I discovered the Caganer (translation: The Shitter) more than a dozen years ago and have naturally been fascinated by it. Mostly because it allows me to revisit my many self-styled Poopenisms, like: "There's been a Prison Break at the South Gate."

But also, at least this year, it gives me an opportunity to talk about Nativity scenes, which also fascinate me. Especially seen through the lens of the Kanye Nazi. Because given enough hindsight, it's obvious that the Nativity Scene disproves all the antisemitic tropes currently being peddled by Ye and his ilk.

1. All Jews are Not Wealthy. I could point to my ascendants, a cab driver and and a garment district sewing woman who spent more money on cigarettes than they did on fresh produce to prove that. But the Nativity Scene, populated by all Jews (who should be sporting a little more melanin), and perhaps a Druid shepherd, is so much more visceral. They're having a baby in a nasty outdoor shed for Christ's sake! 

Isn't there a Cedar's Sinai anywhere nearby? 

2.  All Jews are Not Wealthy. Again. I'm sorry, but this is a point that bears repeating. What did the three wise men bring as gifts: Gold, frankincense and myrrh. Ok, maybe the guy who brought gold had some shekels in his pocket, he was probably a lawyer. But frankincense and myrrh? Who brings that as a birthday gift? A box of Pampers would've made a better gift. 

And myrrh?

3. Jews Don't Control Everything. Really? We control everything? This Puppet Master trope has been around for ages. But fails to explain why, in the face of such wielding so much power and mastery of global dynamics, there was the Inquisition, the pogroms and the camps. 

And as the nativity scene amply demonstrates, why were Joseph and Mary denied accommodations throughout the Holy Land and forced to birth the King of Kings in a lowly Bethlehem barn? 

Where, upon further contractions and dilation and great pain, the very pregnant Mary looked over her shoulder and spotted the Caganer, exclaiming, "Oh my god, is that man taking a dump?"